for the art of war (lashton)

6. getting mixed signals

Ashton tensed up at the question as he pulled a disc out of the box and slid it over to Luke. "What do you mean?"

"Why don't you like me?" Luke repeated. Ashton didn't say anything for a few seconds and Luke regretted asking such a dumb question. He held his breath, waiting to hear what Ashton would say.

"Don't start that," Ashton finally spoke up. Luke felt his stomach flip and he suddenly had mixed emotions. 

"Start what?" 

"That." 

"It was a question." Luke felt his heart racing in his chest. Maybe he didn't want to know what Ashton's answer would be. 

"I never said I didn't like you," Ashton said quietly.

"Well you act like it," Luke whispered harshly, the words only barely escaping his lips. Ashton laughed— but it wasn't his usual laugh. It was forced and had a twinge of sarcasm mixed in. 

"Really? That's funny," Ashton shot back.

"How is that funny?"

Ashton snorted. Luke felt his hands begin to tremble slightly and tried his best to make it unnoticeable. There was a long stretch of silence that Luke spent by focusing on the car. He hated the silence. He knew there were things he wanted to say right now and there were things that Ashton wanted to say that neither of them spoke out loud.

Ashton finally broke the silence by asking, "How do I act like I don't like you?" Luke's hands began sweating and it was hard for him to maintain a grip on the axle he was once holding firmly. Luke opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself quickly. "No, don't do that," Ashton ordered, "just tell me." 

Luke set the axle down gently, reached for a wire out of the box, and began nervously twisting it to keep himself occupied.

"You always get mad at me," Luke muttered. He felt the wire slipping through his fingers. "Even when I don't do anything wrong. And I just want you to like me? No—" Luke bit his lip hard enough that he began to feel the metallic taste of blood. "No. No. I didn't mean that. I meant that I just want us to get along." At this point, all the words that had left Luke's mouth were purely stupid, and he wished he would stop talking, but he couldn't. The words kept pouring out. He was tripping over his words between choked breaths, and his face had turned a deep shade of red. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing. Fuck—" Luke threw the piece of wire down so that it smacked against the table before he suddenly stood up. Luke's head felt like it was going to explode and he felt his heart racing in his chest. He stood up so fast that at first he thought he was going to pass out, and he needed a few seconds to collect himself.

"No, Luke, stop." Ashton quickly sprang up and went around to the other side of the table before he grabbed Luke by the shoulders. The two boys had never even touched before and under ordinary circumstances, Luke would've probably pushed Ashton away. However, these weren't ordinary circumstances, and he didn't even flinch. "Look at me," Ashton demanded. Luke continued rambling, refusing to look at Ashton. He was talking so fast that his words were barely English and began mixing together. "Luke," Ashton spoke again. "Just take a deep breath." 

"I don't know why I do everything wrong— I can't do anything right—" Even though Ashton's face was only inches away from his, Luke refused to look into his eyes. "Why do I always fuck everything up—"  and then Ashton cut Luke off in the middle of his sentence by crashing his lips against Luke's. It was a quick, rough kiss that lasted no longer than one second but still shocked both of them. Luke had completely forgotten what he was saying. His stomach did a flip when their lips met and he was hit with a sudden pang of confusion. When Ashton took a step back from Luke, there was silence. Blue eyes were locked with hazel eyes in a flurry of different emotions.