The Deadly Mistake

I'm gone

Your arms were wrapped around me tight as the familiar sweet smell of your breath danced around my nose, the promise.  “I will never leave you. I love you” kept running through my thoughts. Every dream I had of you and me. Every nightmare you saved me from, you’ve seen me at my worst and you deserve me at my best. I would and could spend eternity with you.

The day you told me everything was okay was the day you let your fears get the best of you and ruin everything we had, tears ran down my check and the sour taste of salt water hit my lips. I opened the door to my home and stumbled in barely making It three steps. I fell to my knees and cried for you. My vision blurred and I took a deep breath and stood up. My feet dragged across the cold wooden floor to the cabinet where I grasped the bottle of pills and poured them into my mouth drinking nothing but my own spit. The world began to spin and I dropped to my knees once again. His face was the last thing I thought about. My world went black.

 * I layed there lifeless in a muddy puddle in the middle of nowhere. Bushes and dead grass lay on the ground were the water stopped. I began to fall into a darkness, into an unknown. The surface was above me and I was sinking into my own hell. My hand reached up and he was there. he grabbed me and pulled me out of the water and brushed the soaking hair out of my face. I gasped for air on the inside but I was motionless on the outside. His arms were wrapped around me tight once again, but not like before. I was dead and he was carrying me to his heart.*

I opened my eyes to find the doctor shining a bright fluorescent light in my face. She grabbed my fore arms and helped me sit up straight where I began to puke. I soaked the blankets in a black liquid and my own blood. What have I done? Where was my love? Not there by my side were I wanted him. I began to cry again and my heart sped up. The doctor began to panic and stuck a needle in my arm. I followed the little white tube to find a bag full of this yellow slimy fluid were it began to go into my veins. It burned like somebody had set me on fire. my dad was there next to me. ashamed of how me found me laying on the floor motionless. I tried to end my life but it didn’t work. I had to deal with my own guilt, my own shame. I closed my eyes and pictured my loves deep green eyes. So full of love and concern. I miss him already.  By this time I have been in the er for five hours and I wanted to go home. I got my ivs taken out and my dad carried me to the truck were I buckled myself up and we were on our way. The ride there was long and silent. He had no idea I was in a relationship. He thought I ended when he called the cops for him being 19 and me only 14. But our love carried on into an unkown dimension. But it was all over now. He said he would wait for me and he would wait until I was of age. Two years. Those would be the longest two years of my life, full of emptiness and pain without him there.