You See But Do Not Observe

VISIT

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR : VISIT

"No, John, I don't want to go out with a friend of yours from work." Serena said as she pressed the telephone to her ear.

"Serena, he's a good bloke. You'd like him."

"No."

"It's been months and months. You should be getting back out there."

"Listen, John, I get it. Mary is a good girlfriend. You know us two are good friends. It doesn't mean I have to date too." Serena said, glancing around the flat, a mess.

"He's gone."

"I know!" Serena said sharply, picking up a bouquet of flowers.

"I know." She said sadly. "But I don't think my life leads toward having that sort of family. Listen, I've got to make a stop before I go over to work."

"I still can't believe you took Lestrade's offer." John sounded exasperated.

"My old job wasn't working out." Serena explained, heading out the door. "And this job takes my mind off things."

"Only because you're getting shot at every other night. And don't pretend that I'm wrong, because I know it's true. You and Lestrade are on the telly twice a week already."

"I've got to go." Serena said quickly.

"This conversation isn't over!"

Serena hung up and kept walking down Baker Street. She hailed a taxi and took off toward her destination.

She walked toward his grave with the flowers.

"Hey." She said. "I know you think this is cheesy, but I'm back again. I don't have long, I've got to get to Scotland Yard. I love this job, keeping the bad guys off the streets. It reminds me of you and distracts me at the same time. John and I are still in that old flat. If you could see him you would laugh! He has a mustache now, isn't that funny? And he met this girl, Mary. She's perfect for him. I wouldn't doubt it if they got married one day. And he's posted something about you on his blog. I think he's moved on, but he will never forget you."

She took a breath. "I've accepted that you're dead. I will always believe that you told me the truth that you were who you said you were. John does to. That's important. But life has to go on. I can't pine over you forever. It's taken me ten months to get to here, to this state of being okay. I will never forget you. I've realized that I'll never have a family the way I thought I might with you. I feel like for some people, they can find their soul mate more than once, but not me. And that's okay. But you will never be forgotten. Never. I believe in you, Sherlock. And even though I've stopped mourning you, I'll never stop loving you."