Listen Up

Hobos

So I was going to the gas station and this guy that looks like he hasn't bathed in god knows how long comes up to me with a face  like he was horny and says to me.

Hobo: "Hey darlin'. Aren't ya pretty? What's a pretty girl like you doin up so late without a man to protect her? Come over here and I'll give you what you deserve." *winks*

Now, I know that I'm not that bad-looking but he got me at a bad moment and my response was:

Me: "No sir, I don't roll that way. So if you could kindly just fuck off."

Hobo: "Awh, don't say that. You just haven't had the right dick!"

Ummmm, no. I'm pretty sure that I roll both ways for a goddamn reason... Anyways, why would I go for a guy that looks like a shaved King Kong?

So here's a message for all the guys out there. If you ever find a girl that's bisexual or lesbian, please don't tell her that she hasn't had the right... YOU KNOW WHAT... because we all have our reasons as to why we're gay.

For me, it's because there was this one time where I had this really really pretty friend that was a girl and she was that type of girl that made guys AND girls want her. So she came up to me and kissed me really hard in the middle of the mall. At the time, I had a boyfriend who I loved a lot. And whenever we kissed, it was like seeing a unicorn right in front of you.

But when I kissed my friend, it was the same feeling. Except it was more magical.... So yeah, I'd really like to tell you guys more about this later, so I'm gonna go back to the hobo guy...

Hobo: "Darling, you got a nice ass in them jeans. Can I see it without the jeans?"

Me: "Okay, just fucking stop! You look like you belong under the bridge with the Grumpy Old Troll in Dora the Fucking Explorer! So take your ignorant horny self and go check out some people your own fucking age!"

So that was my night.... How's yours so far? Oh and shoutout to my friend Liam for talking my cousin into talking to me again... I'll pay you back later, I guess.