if we go down (then we go down together)

1

CHAPTER 1
Everything that you ever dreamed of
disappearing when you wake up

─✦ Present

Kasalukuyan kong sineset-up ang TV namin. I want to watch an episode of one of the famous reality shows on TV right now entitled WYR or Will You Remember.

Isa itong show kung saan pwede kang magsulat at magpadala ng liham tungkol sa mga pinagdaanan at karanasan mo sa buhay. In this show, people can share their experiences in life—pagkabigo, pasakit at mga hamong sinubok talaga ang tatag nila—pati na rin kung papaano nila nalagpasan ang mga ito, kung paano hindi sila natinag at nagpadala sa mga hamon at pagsubok ng buhay.

Inayos ko ang sofa namin at hinanda na ang mga pagkain at wine ko. I’ve seen this particular episode many times already. I recorded this pa sa TV namin when this aired.

What's so special about this particular episode, you ask? It's because in this episode, ako mismo ang nagsulat at nagpadala ng liham. You’re right, this episode is about my life, my past.

The show’s music started playing as the title of the show appeared in bold, golden, fancy font. It continued playing as the screen transitioned to a fancy living room, zooming in and focusing on Miss Chanel sitting formally on the clean beige sofa.

Miss Chanel smiled before saying her introductory spiels. “Good evening, everyone,” she greeted, calm, collected and classy. “It’s time, yet again, for us to witness another life-changing story—a story of lost loves, inspiration, hope, and how everything will always fall into place at the right time and at the right place.”

May kinuha siyang papel sa table. It’s the letter that I have sent, although surely it’s already been altered properly for the show.

She wore her glasses before she started reading it.

Dear Miss Chanel,

You're probably wondering why I'm sending you a letter when in fact, I am currently a happy woman with a wonderful husband and two amazing twin sons, but this is my present. And it is a truth, universally acknowledged, that everyone has their own past—happy, sad or a mix of both. I am no exception.

I would say my past was one heck of an adventure that defined me to be who I am today. I was—in a sense—a crazy bitch who wanted everything for herself. I grew up having everything that I want handed to me, that I didn’t know what to do when I couldn’t get the one thing I truly wanted. I was ready to give up everything just to get the man I thought I loved.

Of course, I also had friends. They had the same attitude towards life as I had, but they were always true and loyal to me, towards the end and until now.

─✦ 13 Years Ago

Nandito ako sa homeroom namin, talking to Spice, one of my best friends. We’re gossiping about a girl in our school named Judy. The rumor that’s spreading says she’s pregnant, bearing a child whose father is her ex-boyfriend daw. It’s not proven yet, but if this rumor is true, I couldn’t imagine the expression on her current boyfriend, Manuel’s face once he finds out.

She’s actually quite pretty, even in my standards. She’s rich and powerful and yet she did this to herself. What does she see in that no-good ex-boyfriend of hers when a whole Manuel Padilla is literally right in front of her and hers for the taking! She’s making a huge mistake!