My Thoughts On Thoughts

just need to get stuff off my chest

You know someone fucked your life up hard when you can't listen to the songs thy introduced you to, because it hurts too much.
I mean, I can't listen to the songs that I used to love, without getting the sensation of a brick hitting my chest. It's horrible.
And the worst, not embarrassing part of this whole ordeal, was when I was still their friend, I didn't notice it. Didn't notice that I was fucking breaking. Didn't notice how much they were hurting me, how much they didn't F u c k i n g care. I can't look at a picture of them without feeling like someone just stabbed me. I mean, one could argue that they taught me valuable lessons that will hold some worth in the future, but they didn't even ask me back. Actually no, they asked me once.
Once.
Out of 1 year of being friends, they asked me how I was doing.
God I was so blind. How did I not see something was wrong?
They brought me down
And screwed me up
And I didn't leave
All out of love.
Because yes I fucking loved this person. And now I HATE myself for that.
Ugh I don't even know what this is, I just needed to get things off my chest.