"I can't keep doing this." These words echoed in my head. Those were the last words he's ever said to me. I know, I am part to blame for this, but I can't help feeling that he knew something I didn't. Something that could've salvaged what little love was left in this relationship.
Then again, maybe not.
I know I shouldn't want him...and I guess when it comes down to it I would choose myself. I would save myself from the sadness and despair that I felt when I was with him. The thing was, we had our good days and our bad days. Some days were nothing but perfect. Other days it was as if the romance was dead, or never existed in the first place.
When he left me, all I could do was wait for him to come home. Once I was with him again my hiraeth evaporated.
When I was younger, my sister would tell me stories. Stories of people and places and what to expect out in the real world. "Boys," she would say, "Like to play pretend. They try to say that women are complicated and moody and confusing...maybe we are. But look at them. They pretend they don't feel, they pretend they don't have feelings for you or any other goddamn thing on this planet. Bullshit. Don't let a boy take advantage of you like that. Do you understand me Prue?" That's when I would obediently nod my head yes. Honestly, I think half the time she was drunk.
That day I decided that I was leaving too. If he didn't love me then so be it, I presume. He was just using me anyways. In complete fairness I was using him too. I just wanted to feel wanted by somebody, but it hurts more when the person you want to feel wanted by can't even look at you anymore.
We were just using each other.
"I can't keep doing this," I thought once again.
Then don't.
••••••••
AN
Okay so I've decided to start a book of short stories. Hopefully you enjoy ❤❤
~Neverland0120
