The Marauding Maps: A Collection of Oneshots

Just Another Prank

"Hey, Moony?" Sirius Black, despite being fifteen, had jumped onto his friends bed at 2:30 on a Wednesday night.

"What do you want, Sirius?"

"Y'know how you're a perfect and all that?"  To this, Remus Lupin merely grunted. "And y'know how you know all of the rules and stuff?"

"Yes..."

"Well, do you think we could charm the entire Slytherin table to only serve, like, growth potions and dung beetles or something?"

This seemed to pique James Potters interest, because he was soon sat next to Sirius. "Padfoot, mate, you are a genius."

"To bad it's not only against school rules, but also, I think, a little bit very illegal?"

The other two boys seemed upset, because they were soon back in bed. Peter Pettigrew was having none of it. "Where are you two idiots going? I'm sure our Remus could still find something of the sort."

"As a matter of fact," Remus chuckled, "I think I can." Now all four boys were sat on Remus' bed. "Ok, so it's quite probably against the law to deny food to someone under your care, so Hogwarts will get sued by some spoiled pureblood parent, no offence, James." James began to argue, but Remus just continued. "And then we'll all get expelled, and I think any consumption of magical potions or whatever outside of Slughorn's is very much  against school policy. And then there's the whole charming food thing which is quite strictly enforced..."

"So, what can we do?" James asked?

After multiple trips to the library, and one or two to the kitchens, everything was set up, and the whole school (except of course four fifth year Gryffindors, and perhaps Minerva McGonagall, who had learnt to accept their antics) were shocked to find that the only food displayed on the Slytherin table was haggis. There were bowls of it, where mashed potato should be, plates of in where roasted meat should be, and even small bowls that were literally made out of haggis in place of Yorkshire puddings. And the best part was, everyone knew who it was (it was a trademark Sirius prank) but there was no hard evidence or obvious rule breaking, so they couldn't get in trouble.

The Slytherins were served only haggis for eight days, because there was nothing anyone could do about it. Only after a total of 37 howlers from angry parents, two very stern talkings-to from an exasperated head of house, a total of 169 "but it's the Scottish national dish – of course they'll serve it here"s and the house-elves ran out of said dish did the prank finally cease.