The Marauding Maps: A Collection of Oneshots

Remus Just Might be a Criminal Mastermind

A.N. Warning: he might look like he's reading a book, but he's more than likely reading you. I'm kind of scared of him, and not just because he turns into a monster once a month... I actually relate to him on that front.

Remus Lupin was on his way to the  Gryffindor Quidditch shed, getting his boyfriend's broom, so he could help him practice before the Slytherin game, while Sirius himself was on the pitch padding up. He was just thinking that the practice could really benefit his levitation charms for the end of year exams as he walked into the shed.

He was in the building all of half a second, because as he entered, the first thing he saw was the Slytherin team, each studying a Gryffindor broom, and muttering hexes.

He could, of course, burst in there and then, kicking up a fuss a threatening to get them in all sorts of trouble, but Remus was smarter than than that. He was, at that very moment, concocting a plan.

---- 3 DAYS LATER ----

"Do you really think this'll work, Rem?"

"Jamie, please. We've known each other for 4 years now. Why do you doubt me? I know this'll work."

"I trust you, babe" Sirius smirked, throwing an accusing glare at James. James tutted and rolled his eyes, but Remus had already moved on.

He had the map, that the group had been working on, open against the wall. It still had a few bugs, and was nowhere near complete. The only names on it were the four of them, and filch, but it was done enough for their needs as of yet.

"So, Pete's in position by the great hall, and we know the Slytherins  usually leave around this time." Remus tapped Peters tag on the map. "He's going to lead them in this direction, with simple, self cleaning traps, here, here, and here." He pointed to each spot respectively. "When he starts walking back down this corridor," He gestured, "that means he's got them in position. That's when you two need to head down here, and I'll take care of the rest."

Not 5 minutes later, Peter was heading towards them, away from the hall, no doubt not very far behind the Slytherin Quidditch, under James's cloak. He stopped just before the first intersection.

"Diversion 1, underway." Remus muttered. "And... done." He finished as Peter started moving again, right towards them. He stopped again at the grand staircase. "He's taken the staircase out of play," Remus smiled as Peter's name continued on towards the staircase to the fourth floor, which the Slytherins would now have to go up in order to get back to the dungeons.

"Now we just have to hope he can get then down this corridor instead of the quicker route pas-," Sirius was cut off by a muffled bang.

"Oh, Peter has it handled," Remus reassured him. "Ok, he's heading back, go, now."

As his friends walked away, Remus took out the wand he had taken from the Slytherin captain's nightstand the night before. When the boys were in position, Remus cast the charm, and the cauldron one of the chasers had left in class two days ago fell on James and Sirius. Remus threw his borrowed wand back to its owner, as his friends quickly turned very green, and their hair silver.

If Peter had done his part, everything should be coming into play.

---- 4 HOURS LATER ----

"I cannot believe you would risk my hair just get a few Slytherins in trouble." Sirius complained, as Remus and Peter entered the now empty hospital wing where the other two had been confined for the past 3 1/2 hours.

"A few Slytherins who were willing to risk your life just to win a Quidditch match, love." Remus reminded him. "And, hey, it worked. 3 weeks detention and Slugghorn made them all chip in for..." He held up the two life-size strawberry broomsticks, "these."

"Ok, but..." James asked, "do you think they'll fly?"

"Yours won't," Peter said. "You've taken a bloody massive bite out of it."

A.N. I should really update more... I enjoyed writing this actually, don't tell me it didn't happen