unhealthy - 2jae

six - ijb

where is my love.

I want my answers.

Why am I still in this hospital?

I lie on the bed unmoving, feeling like a zombie or statue. The hours are boring because all I can do is sleep. I know I'm used to being sleep deprived, not well-fed with naps. No one visits me, either. The word that I'm "that patient" probably is spread around the building, anyway.

Not even that Choi Youngjae kid wants to see me, does he?

It's just his job, after all.

I notice a remote control from the corner of my eye. I grab it and realize that it's a television remote. Thank the gods. I push the red button and on goes the tiny screen placed in front of me (which I somehow missed this whole time). The channels are boring, but it's better than having nothing. Now, it's time for me to recollect my thoughts.

I threw something at a girl.

I told another girl to get the fuck out.

I flipped off a guy.

I stared at that same guy-

Choi Youngjae keeps appearing in my head. It's bugging me a lot. Why am I caring so much about him suddenly? It's unnatural.

And why am I anticipating him to come and visit me already?

My fist clenches and tugs on the thin blanket sheet as I stare blankly at the digital screen. It's a drama, and there's a woman crying on the streets. There's nothing interesting about it.

I look at the nurse call button again. I'm tempted to buzz the fuck out of it, just to irritate that guy.

...What if another girl nurse comes to my room instead, though?

The thought sounds unpleasant so I avoid looking at the call button anymore. I have an odd feeling going on right now and about a million thoughts were racing through my head.

How come none of my relatives or friends have visited or called me?

...

It feels like I've been forgotten and it's unsettling. Suddenly, the white room seems to haunt me. I'm immobilized in this cage. I'm not scared by many things, but this does creep me out.

Youngjae, I think.

I have this feeling of loss. Like I'm forgetting something important.

I finally stand up again. I need to stretch myself before I get stiff as wood. I reach down to my toes, stretch my arms, twirl my head around.

The door opens and I turn around with a slight frown. I'm a bit surprised; the guy that walks in looks... awfully cute. He might even be my type. I would honestly flirt with him maybe once, twice...

Ah, shit. It's Youngjae. Was I blind?

I run a hand through my hair and act like nothing has happened. He bows his head meekly at me and I almost snort.

"I'm sorry if you're bored... Oh, you discovered the TV."

"Mm," I reply.

He puts down a clipboard with some papers attached to it, along with a pencil. I stand still like an idiot as he forces himself to approach me. He's an awkward person, I can tell.

"I... need you to sit down. I have to change your IV bag," he tells me.

"Make me," I challenge him stupidly. I definitely regret saying that. Youngjae freezes at what I tell him, yet he still never wants to look directly at me. As someone taller, I have to stare down at him. He looks troubled, biting on his lower lip. I find it low-key hot.

"Please," he asks again, "I need to take care of you." He reaches for my sleeve and tugs on it gently. What is he, my girlfriend? I can't help but sigh. I do him a favor by walking casually to the bed. I sit on the edge with my arm out, waiting for him to "take care of me."

He walks up to me and starts replacing the near empty bag with a new one. "If you... don't like having the IV bag attached to you, you could start drinking more water. The reason why we have this on you is because you were dehydrated."

"I want to know why I'm here," I tell him out of nowhere, "because I don't remember what happened to me." Youngjae pauses after pushing the needle into my skin, now crouching down to his knees.

"I don't..." he begins, looking down at my arm. It irritates me too much, so I spoke up.

"Look at me," I say strongly. "Why are you afraid of me? Look at me, Choi Youngjae."

It takes a couple of seconds for him to finally tilt his chin up.

God, that face.

He's beautiful.

"Im Jaebum," he clears his throat after standing back up, "Your stay here won't be long... I think."

"Tell me why I'm here," I ask him again. I'm not going to let him go this time.

"I..." he begins, "I-"

"-don't know."

I'm confused. I see Youngjae standing in front of me, and he wasn't moving his mouth when he said "I don't know." He looks equally confused; rather, he appears to be terrified. It's definitely his voice. Who said that?

I notice the TV screen.

It's Youngjae's face in that same drama that was on.

Youngjae flees the room instantly.