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he makes u feel insecure (haz)

Harry Imagine (He makes you feel insecure)

"She hasn't put any effort into how she looks recently. Like, she always wore makeup, always did her hair, put on nice outfits. But now she's not even fixing herself up. She goes out in public with sweatpants and a t-shirt. I have an image, you know? and I feel like she isn't making it, you know, good. At all".

Those were the words that made me spend two hours on how I looked everyday for the past month. It's not like I wanted to make his image look bad, it was actually because I started to feel more confident in myself. I started to accept who I was, and it was the longest process I had ever had the chance to take, but I got there, only for it to be crashed down to where I had started.

I was currently putting liquid foundation onto my face, spreading it evenly along my skin as Harry was studying me through the doorway. He watched me with a guilty look on his face, and I knew he was questioning why he was letting me do this.

"That's so much, y/n" Harry whispered, never ripping his gaze away from my makeup.

I ignored him, putting on liquid liner and mascara perfectly as I hairspraid my curls a little bit more before saying, "Ready".

Harry and I were walking around the park hand in hand, drinking milkshakes as a little girl with a teenager started to shyly walk up to us.

"I'm sorry to bother you guys, but my sister saw you and started begging me to bring her to you" the teenager said, bringing her little sister in front of her, "Say hi"

The little girl giggled, running into Harry's legs as she held onto it. Harry smiled, bending down to pick her up in his arms.

"And who might this be?" Harry smiled, tickling her stomach softly with his fingers.

"Stacey!" the little girl laughed, throwing her head back as cute little giggled escaped her.

I smiled, making my way to the garbage can to throw out my milksake, humming to myself as I suddenly was rammed into the garbage can.

"What the fu-"

"Watch where you're going fat ass" my ex best friend exclaimed, pushing me away from her.

I stummbled back, catching my balance before gripping onto the bench near by, bracing myself for what was comming.

"Rachel, stop" I said, closing my eyes, just wishing she would go away.

I thought after a year of being enemies she would stop continuesly bringing me down. She's 18, and acts as if she's 12.

"You don't look anything like yourself. You look like you just shoved ten thousand makeup products all over your face in attempt to cover up how hideous you are" she growled.

With my eyes still closed, I took a deep breath. I won't let her words get to me. I will not. I refuse.

"What happened, did you get so upset that you didn't grow up to be the model you wanted to? Did your precious family finally get enough money to buy you stuff? Or did your precious little boyfriend finally throw some sense into you? Telling you that you're ruining his fame because of your looks?".

My eyes opened, looking at her through my tears. I saw Harry behind her, and I could tell he didn't know what to do. His hands were in her pockets, his shoulders slumped as he took in what was said. He had no idea my family was extremely poor, but he knew what he said, which made him look even more defeated.

"Yeah. Yeah, he did" I confessed, wipping off a falling tear as I looked away from her.

I wasn't really in the mood to say much more to her, which wasn't really the best idea, considering she'd probably continue on throwing harsh comments at me.

"Your own boyfriend? Doesn't that prove everything I've been trying to get you to come across for a year? Nobody will ever like you. You're a bitch. A worthless, stupid, pethetic bitch who can't even take care of herself. You're the biggest peice of shit to ever take a step in my life. I regret everything I did that included you. And not only I feel like that, but I garantee you everybody else in your life feels like that" she spat, quickly walking away, out of my sight.

Still looking away, I finally let out a loud sob, trying to forget the feeling of Harry's eyes on me. Breathing in deeply, I managed to get out what I wanted to say.

"You have an image, Harry" I managed to say, breathing in with little breaths as I looked at him in blur, "and I'm sorry I ruined it".

With that being said, I quickly walked away from him, my tears blocking my view from where I was heading. I didn't understand why nobody could accept me. All my life I pressured myself to be someone everybody liked, and even now, I feel like nothing I do could ever work. Why do people not like me? What is wrong with me?

"Y/n" I heard Harry say, grabbing my shoulder and turning me around.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I yelled, flinging my body away from his hold.

I didn't want to talk to him about this now. If anything, I just want to be alone. I don't want to surround myself with people i crave acceptance from. I need time to clear my head.

"How long has that been going on, y/n?" he asked softly, taking a step closer to me.

I scrunched my face up, turning my head as more tears started to slowly fall down my face. I can't even think about how many times she's said to me. I want to tell him, I do. I want to open up to him like I usually do, but I can't open up to somebody who doesn't accept me. I can't do that, not even after two years of dating.

"Don't give me that shit" I mumbled, wiping my tears off my skin.

"Baby, where did you hear that f-"

"Your own mouth!" I suddenly shouted, breaking down in hysterics, "Your own damn mouth. I had to act like I never even heard what you said for two months. Two full months of all your 'she doesn't put effort in herself' and all your 'she isn't making my image look good' shit floating in my head. And do you know what, Harry? I was confident. I was accepting myself and then you have to open your fucking mouth, fucking tearing myself down because of you!"

Harry fluttered his eyes closed, almost as if the words actually hurt him. I could tell that he was lost. Lost in my words, lost in his feelings, lost in our relationship. This wasn't how neither of us wanted it to ever be, but maybe it was supposed to be like this.

"Y/n, I'm sorry"

"Yeah? Well fuck you!" I screamed, turning around to run away from him.

I couldn't even look at him right now. Not for a minute. Not for a second.

A large hand grabbed my shoulder, turning me around once again. This time, I was even more angry.

"WHAT?!" I roared.

Harry suddenly grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine. He kissed me hungrily, agressively, almost like it was more out of lust than love. He held onto my face hard, trying to make me kiss him back, and after minutes of refusing, I finally moved my lips synced with his.

"I don't know what I said to you, y/n, but watching you covering yourself up with something that doesn't even deserve to be on your face is enough to kill me" he said, still holding my face in his hands.

I nodded, moving my hands up his sides until they landed perfectly on his soulders.

"I forgot what you look like" he whispered, grazing the pad of his thumbs over my lips.

"I'm nothing special, Ha-"

"That's bullshit. That's pure bullshit".

I smiled, pecking Harry's lips before he started to attack me with his lips. I giggled, trying to push him away so that we wouldn't get caught.

"I don't know who I'm kissing, but I'm not kissing my girlfriend. I think you should get this makeup off".