Dear Lover || [ls]

the ninth

I read the last letter and then I recognized the name. Louis. It wasn't odd to me. And then I remembered the lovely smile he had and the most amazing eyes I've ever seen. Those blue eyes that remembered me of the sea. 

I've never understood why I was so harsh with him. The only conclusion I've ever come with was the fact that I was kid and that I didn't know that words had such an effect on someone. I was miserable youth. Always finding someone to spend the night with and then send them away. 

When I met him, I spend the happiest time in all my life with him. Thinking about it, I guess I was just someone with the fear of falling in love. So, maybe that was the reason I was such an ass with him. I guess I was so scared. So so so scared. 

And I ruined him. And myself. And us. And now that I think about it, I realize that I could had a brilliant future with him. And I remembered the letters. 

I have to save him. Was my last thought before I leave the house. 

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I drove to the place where I remembered his home was. I don't know why but I never forget the adress that once belonged to the boy I sent flowers to. Roses, to be exact. I knew how much he loved those flowers. They were white just like he loved it. And he called telling how much he loved it. 

Oh god. 

I reached his flat and parked somewhere else near it. Time was running and I had a bad feeling about it. What if I am too late? I pressed the doorbell and waited a few seconds before I pushed it again. 

"Please, just open the damn door." I murmured now kicking the door. I was so worried. 

I kept pressing the doorbell for at least one hour but nobody came out. Nobody opened the door. Maybe he's not home? Yeah, maybe is that. Probably he's not here. 

I sat next to the door and waited. A few cars parked near their houses but anyone seemed to be coming next this building. Where is he? 

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It was already getting dark and there was no sign of the lovely boy. Maybe he doesn't live here anymore. What if he's not alive anymore? I mean, it's been some days since he wrote the letter. Oh god. He's not alive anymore. I felt tears threating to fall from my eyes and I took my hand to my mouth. 

I started crying. I couldn't take it. The idea of a life being taken by me. 

"Hey, are you ok?" I heard a voice behind me. "Sorry for being the one to tell you this, but no one lives here anymore. The lad who lived here killed himself a couple nights ago. I'm sorry for your loss."  

He's gone because of me. 

And then I sobbed really hard. 

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well, next chapter is the last one. i hope you liked this book. i love you all, there isn't much more i can say about this.

and i'm also dedicating this to my sister. i love her so so much and i'm so proud of her. i want to dedicate all of my works to her because she's just amazing and my best friend really. i love her a lot. 

and also this was an attempt to make a cliffhanger, so ... did i make it? 

 THIS IS SO SHORT UGH