Erstwhile

Breathe

For some, the boy may have been a burden, but for me, he wasn't. Although Ezra was a young man, his weight was hardly difficult to manage, especially since he had shed several pounds since the infection had taken over his body. Glancing down at him, I saw that Ezra was not much more than flesh and bones, and he grew weaker with every step we took. I did my best to mind his injured leg, but even so, every step I took made him whimper.

It wouldn't be much longer before the whimpering eventually stopped.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I immediately scolded myself, reminding myself that Ezra still had the look of a fighter and that he wouldn't give up, not yet. We would contact his friends and then he would receive help. With medical attention, Ezra would survive with both his life and an interesting story to tell.

Occasionally, in his feverish delusion, Ezra would whisper names I knew: Ashoka, Chopper, and then others I didn't: Kanan, Hera, Sabine, Zeb. Who were these people? Were they the rebels? What role did each of them play in the rebellion? Were they his family? I had assumed so, but it occurred to me that I'd never asked Ezra about his past to know for sure.

When I really thought about it, I didn't know much about the kid at all, other than that he was a Jedi and that he was part of the rebel alliance. Other than those two facts, all I knew was that Ezra reminded me of Will. Their senses of honor and duty were identical, and they both had that unrelenting fire to never give up. Yet, Will had died here, and now I was holding Ezra as he faded away in my arms. If I lost another brother to this forsaken planet, I would fall into a grief I would never emerge from. If the Empire returned, no longer would I be able to find cause to hold my ground.

It seemed like years before we finally reached the downed Star Destroyer. Once we did, I quickly laid Ezra on the ground and instructed Gear and Chopper to go look for a transmitter. Doc stayed with me while I redressed Ezra's wound the best I could, cringing whenever Ezra cried out.

"He's going to die, you know."

Doc's voice made me pause, but I soon continued moving. "You don't know that."

"Yes, I do," he snapped. "His body can't handle much more. Considering his age and the severity of the infection, he doesn't stand a chance."

"He won't have to fight much longer," I said. "His friends will be here soon."

"The rebels?" He scoffed. "Letting Ezra go to them would be treason. Even if they were somehow able to save his life,  they would seal his fate."

"Shut it."

"Jedi are valuable to the Empire. If they knew he was here--"

"For the last time, we are not handing a crazed woman and a dying boy to the Empire," I said, slowly rising to my feet. "These are people, Doc, even if they do practice Jedi ways, and they need our help."

"You're a fool, Stance. You always have been." He glared at me. "Don't you see that this is our big chance? Instead of contacting the rebels we could contact the Empire. We'd be declared heroes."

"I'm not a hero," I said and turned away from him. "I'm a soldier, and the people who took me from my family and abandoned me won't change that. They can't change me. They can't touch me, not anymore."

"I don't understand," Doc growled. "Don't you want to be rescued? Don't you want to see your family again?"

"Of course I do." I took a deep breath. "They're the only thing I think about at night. However, I refuse to see them again if it means handing Ezra over to be executed."