Trouble

Chapter 31

HALLO, I missed you all so much! You guys can't imagine how I wish I would update more often but I do my best really.

These chapters are a bit sad and maybe boring but I hope you understand that it is necessary. I, personally, am really excited for these chapters but it's your opinion that matters so I hope you enjoy this.

I thought that the feeling of numbness was a moment thing that occurred to me that night because of the call. When he called it was like I had been under water and the sound of his voice brought me back up and I could finally breath again. But as soon as he hung up the hope that I had was gone. it vanished along with any sort of happiness that was left in me. I felt empty.

But when the next morning I woke up and wished I hadn’t I realized that the feeling was still present.

My days summed up to waking up, going to school, coming back and going straight to bed.

I spent most of my time in bed actually, wither daydreaming about the times when Harry was still here, crying or sleeping.

I’ve never been one to sleep all day but now it was my favorite thing to do, I felt nothing while sleeping and that was the closest to happy that it could get.

I felt so weak, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about and actually stay strong. I was right when I said that loving someone was giving them the power over you, over your happiness. And I had been right to be scared of it.

I tried my best to keep myself together in front of other people and in school but sometimes even that wasn’t enough.

I accidentally overheard Danielle talking with Liam about me, saying that it looked like the life had been sucked out of me. I could hardly blame them.

I had lost weight, not much but it was noticeable if you looked closely, I hardly smiled, talked only when spoken to, not to mention my breakdowns.

It was pretty much the only times when I felt or showed any emotions. When something would painfully remind me of Harry and I would start sobbing.

Teenage girls crying over their boyfriends seemed always like a ridiculous thing to me, obviously after break-ups the tears were inevitable, it was the girl that would cry just because the guy didn’t text them back that I found ridiculous. And look at me now.

If he had left, we had broken up or something like that it would have been horrible but it wouldn’t be as bad as this.

I didn’t know where he was or even if he was okay and it was killing me. I was tired of jumping every time my phone rang both happy and scared because it could be him or news about him, bad news.

I have thought about what would happen if Harry wasn’t coming back, if he left for good. The thought alone was enough to make me on a verge of a panic attack. 

I haven’t visited his apartment anymore but leaving him voice mails was on a regular basis. Call me desperate and miserable but that was all I had.

The singing contest was tomorrow and I didn’t even remember about it until Emily brought it up yesterday.

“So, have you practiced for tomorrow?” Emily asked as our group laid sprawled out on the grass, in a beautiful park that they insisted coming to, and I was fairly glad that I had agreed.

Her question left me confused so I just kept quiet. It had become a bad habit of mine, ignoring people when they talked to me, it didn’t happen often though.

“Mel?”

“What about tomorrow?” I forced out.

She sighed, exchanging glances with the others.