Never Ending Lies

The Voice Message

"Come on Alex we're going to be late for class again, if you don't hurry your ass up". I smirked to myself as I looked at my best friend Joe, who might I add the biggest nerd on this planet. Well besides me of course. He's always has these big black glasses on and he's very very tall, with dark red hair and green eyes. Not looking down on nerds or whatever, but he's pretty good look-in ya know, for a nerd. If he wasn't my best friend and If I hadn't known him my entire life as a best friend I think I would probably have a crush or something on him. Well most of my life, I can't remember anything since I was nine years old. When I was younger my mom told me I would always go into shock and when I went into shock for three days the doctors said I got a slight concussion and I lost my memory when I woke up.

Joe's mom died when I was younger and his dad just recently died. Since he's of age, and he got a butt load of money from his dad doing god knows what he lives be himself in a small apartment. He kinda mentioned how his father passed,but he never really talks about him. It was really hard for him I couldn't even go to the funeral with him. It was weird ,because my mom went to the funeral, but I couldn't. I mean I know My mom and Joe know each other,but they really never really talk. When Joe's father died you'd think he would be sulky and depressed ,but he was quite the opposite. He was very angry all the time,I don't know why though even though I'm his best friend I didn't know what was wrongs with him. I don't want to go into anything deep and mess up our friendship. Although I do wish he would be more open with me, he never talks about anything personal.
"Are you even listening to me, what am I saying of course you aren't-". He starts to ramble like always about my lack of attention. I'm not saying I don't space out but he literary dose this everyday. I walk even slower just to piss him off. I hear him curse under his breath at me. "Fine you can be like that but I'm not going to miss class again for you, this is the third time today". Joe says as he starts running to our class. I laughing and shaking my head because we all know he's not gonna make it to that class running, without tripping over nothingness.

I look down at my chemistry book seeing our next lesson next week, cause I already finished the first one when it was assigned to us yesterday.....yeah I have problems. I don't really do much besides homework. I unzip my bag so I can put my book in my very heavy and ripped bag and grab my phone. I only have a little ways to walk till I get to my class so I'll check my phone, I know when I get to class I'll here the same thing I've heard all day " I told you so" from Joe. Laughing to myself at the thought I click the button to turn on my phone and look at the notifications , and I instantly stop Laughing.

I feel my head crease when I see a voice message from my... "mom" I whisper quietly. I slow my walking. I don't know if I should be happy or worried.

Mom hasn't talk to me, or really anyone that I know of for that matter in a long long time ever since Jay passed away. Jay was my brother and my moms son. He died last year when he was driving on an icy roads for Christmas break to see us. Me and Jay never knew our father and mom would never talk about him witch really didn't bother me, I always just kinda guessed he ran away when I was younger. I remember a little after my concussion, I asked her about him and she slapped me " don't every ask about he who is not here" and walked out, she cried for a whole day. I guess I can only blame myself, she probably really loved him or something​ and he left her. When mom and I found out that Jay was dead it was hard, I almost committed suicide if it wasn't for Joe being there for me because mom couldn't. She didn't say anything to me at all that day,it was kinda like she expected it to happen. Some days were different from others though. Some she would come home and go straight to bed, others she would come home from work and get angry for no reason screaming in another languages that I didn't know or even know how she knew and through her empty bottles of scotch around her work office. I know she sounds like a guy, but the weirdest days were when she actually talked to me. Well in a way,but still talked technically. She would drink for hours and hours then before I usually go to bed she would call me to her office and tell me weird things " I will protect you Alehx, he can't hawwve yu he won't hiurt you". Most of the time I don't have a damn clue as to what the hell she is talking about,because she dose that thing some people do when there drunk were they speaks every language to have ever been spoken. Yeah its pretty wired. When every I try to ask her about what shes talking about she passes out.

I click the notification and put the phone to my ear to listen. I can't get rid of this feeling that I should be worried. "Alexandra" yep worried defiantly worried she never uses my full name. I try to think of all the reasons why she would try to call me she knows I'm at school. Wait maybe she doesn't like I said she never speaks to me. "Alexandra listen I just wanted to say that I love you no matter what OK you are everything I have left an- " I hear her break out in a sob. What is she talking about this is really strange for her. " I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when Jay died I couldn't even think about him" she broke into another cry. This is really starting to piss me off if she's trying to apologize for not being there for me when my brother died my own brother died,well doing it over the phone and leaving a voice message is not a great start. What did she think I was going to do come home and say "oh mom I got your voice message saying sorry about not being there with me when my brother died and when I almost committed suicide because of it its OK I totally forgive you". Yah not gonna happen. " I don't think I can forgive my self I can't imagine​ how you can ether, but I must tell you that ever thing is going to be ok". Now she is really starting to freak me out. "I don't want to talk long ,but just know that your going to be taken care of don't worry how but just know you are ok I have saved you up a lot of money so you can go to any college you want ok" I don't know why but my eyes start to fill with tears and I'm now crying with the phone still to my ear. "I love you so much you are such a beautiful nice and smart girl and your so much like your brother". For some reason I managed to walk all the way to my class and I'm now in the open door way of my class. I'm desperately trying to figure out what the fucking hell she is talking about. " Alex I hope you can find happiness again, but I want you to remember that your brother and I will always be in your heart no matter what". No wait what is she talking about what's goi- "click". I gasp and every one in the room stops taking notes on whatever Mr fuckhead over hear is teaching and turns to look at me including Joe with a worried look on his face. What the fuck was that noise, god please let that just be in my head whatever that was." Miss Shayne can you please explain to me why your late and ON THE PHONE". I ignore him completely and focus on the voice message. Everything goes silent on the other end of the phone. "I love you Alex no matter what happens to you". No what is she doing why did she say that like that. I start to panic and shack my head when " BANG". Tears almost instantly roll down my face and I can already feel me going into shock again. The last time I went into shock is when Jay had died and that was about a year ago.

My knees go weak and I bend over" MOM" I scream and drop the phone on the floor next to me. Now everyone is defiantly looking at me right now. I look up and see Joe start to rush over to me. I look back down back down and start to I hyperventilate. "Alex ways wrong tell me" my eyes start to go blurry but I still manage to point to the phone. Joe grabs the phone e from the floor and looks at the screen. His eyes go down and he looks worried like really worried probably more worried than I did when I seen it. Without hesitation he puts the phone up to his ear and listens to the voice message on the phone probably. It doesn't take long for him to understand and I hear the "BANG" go off from the phone again and I start to cry even harder at the thought what that means. Tears fill up my eyes which isn't really helping my vision right now. When I look at Joe I don't know I don't know if it was just the way my eyes were working write now or what,but Joe seemed to be pissed like he could through the phone and cuss out a McDonald's happy meal. The thought went out of my head when I was picked up and lifted out of the class.

The last thing I remember was Joe driving me out of the school parking lot of the collage we both go too. He was on the phone speaking with someone. "No I can do it, you stay away from he-" before I could hear the rest I passed out in the car.

"Your brother and I will always be in your heart no matter what".