Short Poems

Letter To Myself

Letter to Myself,

When you are born, you remember nothing for 3 years. Then you'll start remembering memories such as happiness, pain, laughter, joy and loss. You will get kick out several pre-schools... so I say, put down that book and lay down your head and stay quiet. If not, you will be held down, the book ripped away by force and then kicked out and transferred several times until someone takes you in. You won't have friends in that preschool room except for the sand table and the yellow parakeet. So be adventurous, your young so you will have friends later. In kindergarten, be everyone's friend and don't let that bully "Jace" take that toy car away preventing you from playing with the racecar with the other kids. In first grade, don't exclude yourself with sitting by the walls at recess.... adventure and make friends, for when you may need them. Second grade don't be sad when you miss the 100th day of school party and that you are sent to the principal's office because of not getting a homework assignment done. In third grade, you will slowly take away all the "Winnie The Pooh" series from the teachers shelf because you wanted to have them to read to your little sister before bed. In fourth grade, you will sit next to a girl who pees her pants because the teacher refuses to let her use the restroom and you will often be not allowed to outside because of homework so you have to clean the blackboard and beat the erasers, and you will meet your best friend forever to come. In fifth grade, you will have the first male teacher for the first time and don't be sad because your cousin is in the other class next to you. In six grade, you will meet another girl that you take under your wing because she's new and you will break down your relationship with your best friend... but don't fret. In seventh grade that girl will leave you behind and never speak a word to you again and your best friends comes back to pick you back up even when you were there for her. In eighth grade, you will still feel left out, no opinions on class projects, teased because you don't talk much and talked about because no one messes with you. In ninth grade, you will gain a few more friends and meet the greatest guy in your life and you'll switch from three different tables to make sure everyone got your attention so you wouldn't lose anyone.... Until your mother tells you, you must move away from all these years in the same area. In tenth grade, you are now in a new school, you lost everyone from your old school, you're in a digital academy where you do all your work on computers. And a girl that is unique in every way takes you under her wings and leads you around the school as your kingdom. In eleventh grade, you make little more friends but your still an outcast... all your old friends never contacted you for the whole year, your best friend is mad at you because you tried helping her with an issue. So, your now out cold, depressed and alone. In twelve grade, you turned 18 months back, and 1 month later moved to Tennessee with your bf's mother. Moved two times with his parents in 2 months so we moved out onto our own and made it. But you'll be deeply depressed, you'll go nowhere except to work and back, you'll come home make food and go to bed, no laughter to here or smiles to see. Then you'll graduate and working full-time. In 2016, you'll move back to Ohio excited to see friends and family, but your relationship is straining, your yearning to be more single then "in a relationship", hang in there. Maybe he's the right one, maybe he isn't but wait for him to make that decision.... you're not in the wrong, you're just living. And friends.... You only have that one true friend but even then she still doesn't make effort to see, message or talk to you. Your just meant to be alone.

Note to self: You'll never be a people person, popular, the person people want you to be or even to be truly loved.

Sincerely, Andrea