AC~ You guys are so gonna want to kill me... XD Oh well~
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This chapter is from Germany's perspective.
Broken Memories Chapter 2: Loss
It has been approximately two days, three hours, and 47 minutes since Italy has died. Liechtenstein has kept me in her care, completely understanding my feelings. I wish to be able to take care of myself, but my mental stability has been all but shattered. Italy, Italy, Italy... I grab for the bottle of beer on the nightstand to the right of me to numb the almost physical pain, but when I lift it to my lips I find it to be empty. I sigh, laying back down and sliding back into the grief-induced slumber I have been in and out of since Italy had his battlefield funeral.
"Hey, Germany, would you like some pasta?"
"Vee~! Germany! Germany! Look at all the cute girls!"
"Look, Germany! I found a kitty! Can we keep it?"
Memories of Italy override my mind again, as they have done repeatedly the past two days. I brace myself for the images that shall come to mind next as they have before...
"Why only me, Germany? I don't wanna be in a bunker without you!"
"GERMANY!!"
My eyes fog with tears. I always lose it at this part. I try to push Italy down, but I can't. I never can. This dream leaves me paralyzed, reliving the same memory over and over again.
"Ti amo...."
I can't take it anymore.
"ITALY!!!" I wake with a scream. Panting, I sit up. The room is messy, in a disarray. Broken bottles are everywhere, scattered on the floor. I gather the courage to sit up and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are dark and almost bruised looking, as well as blood-shot. My clothes are grungy and messy and my hair is a complete mess. But for once, I don't care. Liechtenstein appears in the doorway moments later, apparently surprised to see me up.
"Ah, you're up." She says, her hollow eyes showing slight acknowledgement.
"Yes... I suppose." I reply, not quite ready to maintain a façade of normality.
"This is the first time you have gotten up since his burial. You are better, yes?" Liechtenstein's eyes shine with a shadow of concern.
"Physically, yes. Mentally, no. I don't think I will ever be back to perfect mental health." Liechtenstein nods in understanding, and turns to leave but not before saying, "I hope to see you at lunch." She then slips quietly through the door and down the hall.
Ah, yes. Italy's funeral... I still can barely think about it. It was quiet, small. With only three attendants. Me, Liechtenstein, and Romano. I managed to stay civil throughout the ceremony without breaking into rough cries and screams. Romano seemed to be struggling throughout the ceremony as well. Understandably so. I remember when I quietly walked up to him to ask him something very important.
"Romano."
"...Yes, potato bastard?" Romano had muttered in response.
"I have a question for you. What does 'ti amo' mean?" I asked the question that had been burning in my mind since the day before.
"What does it mean? Why is this significant at this time?!" Romano had snapped.
"Please." I had pleaded.
His tragedy imbedded yet impatient sigh rang through my mind.
"If you must know, it means 'I love you'. Now leave me alone."
I remembered the confusion and sadness tearing at my heart. In fact, I feel it still. Italy...had loved me?! To confirm my feelings to Italy, I kissed him on his cheek gently. It was cold and soft.
"Ich liebe dich." I had softly whispered before pulling away.
I couldn't breathe when they finally lowered Italy down into the ground.
"N-no! I must focus myself." I mutter angrily, deprecating myself for almost losing it again. I carefully clean myself and the room up, then head down the hall for lunch.
Finding out how to get Italy back to me will have to wait.
