when the sun comes up

Patrick Taylor- my brain

I lie in my bed, unable to sleep. It has been like this for a while now. I check my clock. 3:40am. I sigh, close my eyes and pretend. It's weird when you think about it, before you fall asleep you just pretend to do it. I'm thinking like that at the moment. Weird stuff. Stuff I shouldn't be thinking. I should be thinking about football or about girls or about how quickly my grades are slipping and how I can't keep up at school. I try hard, I really do. But my brain won't allow me to try. It makes me think dumb stuff like how fire trucks are really just water trucks and the fact that this earth only has one ocean but someone divided it into five different ones. You know, dumb shit. It confuses me. I don't like it. I roll over on my side.

I'm thinking of her again.

I have a girlfriend, Paula Scotts. She's very attractive and has flowing blonde hair with expensive highlights and strong green eyes. Her eyes are pretty, maybe that's what attracts me most, but pretty eyes can't make you fall in love with someone, can they? Anyway I don't think she's a very good person. No wait, let me correct that. She's an awful person. One of those people it's hard to be around because you don't know what can come out of their mouth next. The type of person who leaves a bad taste in your own mouth. Also she's not even the 'her' that I'm thinking of. Which is bad and makes me look like a jackass.

The girl I'm thinking of is just, well she's weird. Very weird. And she encourages my weird thoughts because she encourages people to be like her. Weird. She's a big ball of energy and she's opinionated and loud and distracting. But she's just the type of person you just simply have to pay attention to, you just have to look at her and she wants you to. Not in the way most girls want you to look at them, she wants you to listen carefully to what she is saying. Oh and she's beautiful, but not in an obvious way. Her eyelashes are long and black, her hair dark and her skin so pale. She looked like a doll. Rosy cheeks and heart shaped lips. Her face was dusted with a dozen faint freckles and the way she looks at the world, with her big blue eyes, so intensely. She is the type of person who understands the way the world works. It hits home because she's the type of person who wants to make you think, she wants to make you feel how she feels. Electric.