Underage

[24] Right to Remain Silent

Underage

[24] Right to Remain Silent

I turn in my seat and the back of Ethan's head is all I can see. My feet are propelling me up and out of my chair before I can even process what is happening. But, when my mind catches up with my feet and my hand touches the doorknob, I make no move to open the door. I can feel Kyle's eyes on me, but mine are stuck solely on Ethan's back as he keeps walking further away.

My grip tightens on the metal knob but I sigh and drop my hand. The Ethan I knew would have stormed in here and demanded to know why I was at the table with him in the first place. I don't think he knows I'm working here yet, and I just happened to have taken my apron off before sitting down. He must think the worst right now.

I watch him until he's throwing himself into his car and slamming the door shut behind him. His headlights flash on when he starts the car, and I catch his eyes only momentarily as he speeds down the street and away from me.

"That was one hell of a show," says Kyle.

I pivot on my heel and sit myself down in the same chair I was in before. I can't help but keep my eyes on the window, just in case he comes by again. I know he won't, but the thought is still there. How can something as stupid as this fight come between us this much? What happened to us not going to bed angry? He was just telling me this days ago. We haven't even made a dent into the summer and he's already breaking his own rules. I was naïve and stupid to think that this summer would be any different than the previous ones.

Ethan and I, we'll always fight. I thought we were doing good, we were doing good. I was stupid to think we could make it the entire summer, and even more stupid to think that maybe he would come to college with me in the fall.

"I don't think someone like him is worth much of your time," he says. "He looked jealous, and yet he did nothing about it. Some boyfriend you've got there."

I can hear the distaste for him in Kyle's voice. He's still looking at me, but I'm at a loss for words. They died on my tongue, the bitterness leaving a bad taste in my mouth. It's not like he's wrong, but he's not right either. I wish I had a better word to describe our situation, but complicated seems to be the only thing to fit the bill. It's been this way with us since I can remember. Since I thought he was stupid and a waste of space in middle school, and he would try and talk to me in class. In the first few weeks of classes we would be seated alphabetically and it never failed that Ethan was always right, or diagonally, in front of me. He would turn in his seat and smile or stare. I thought it was the most annoying thing. But he wore me down and wormed his way into my heart, where it's sat, unrequited, for a very long time.

The hardest thing is being in love with someone who doesn't love you. I thought that maybe this summer would lead to that. Maybe I would finally feel what it's like for someone to look at me and for me to look at them and just know that they love me too.

All I can see now is the back of his head and the slamming of his car door. The cold look in his eyes as he drives past. My vision blurs and I let my head drop into my hands.

"Sweetie, you can go home if you would like. I don't think we'll get much busier today," says Miss Annie. She's just come down the stairs, each one creaking with every step she took.

"That's alright, Miss Annie."

The elder woman takes the seat beside me and in-between the two of us. "Really, dear, I insist. Go, get yourself some ice cream, preferably not from the ice cream shop, and go have a good cry. Then, I want you to march to his house and I want you to knock some sense into that boy of yours."