I'm Sade

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I'm Sade, pronounced as "Shar- Day". I was named after a Nigerian and English jazz musician that is mostly known from her song "Your Love Is King" that my mother loved the most. Ever since daddy died nothing been the same. Daddy ran off of the road while it was storming a week after my birthday; that was almost a year ago. I guess I have no good luck right.

I'm 16 about to be 17 in two more months, almost grown up. I dropped out of school 3 months after my father died to pay the rent and to make sure we had something to eat. Most of daddy's insurance money was spent on crack and liquor cause of mama. The death of her husband took a lot from her, but she doesn't want to help herself. I mean mama betrayed her own children over something that is killing her slowly.

All I got to worry about is Zayda. Zayda is my heart; she's the only thing that got me going. If Zayda was younger than 5, you could say that was my daughter instead of my sister. I got make something shake around here just so my little sister could still have a fun child hood and won't end up unhappy like me. Even though I dropped out of high school my junior year, I make sure Zayda gets to school every day.

We barley have family, most of them are deceased or carless about us. Daddy and mama always called them "no good" for the ones that we knew, most of the deceased family is on my dad side. If I tell anyone about mama's drug and alcohol situation, the state folks are going to separate me and my baby girl Zayda. I try my best to keep Zayda from seeing what is actually going on with mama. I told her that mama's medicine make her act the way she does.

I have to raise Zayda to be something in life if I won't. I want to give her the boy talk and everything when she gets older. I'm still a virgin; so far so good I don't have any boys on my mind, I guess because I'm going through a tuff time right now. For these last 10 months it's been hell. I got to keep my head up and make sure my baby girl is ok.

I'm Sade and this is my story...