stockholm syndrome - tracob

eleven

After Jacob finally calmed down Troye told him to go out and get them some food. It wasn't as if he was that hungry himself; it was more like he wanted to make sure Jacob would eat. He was afraid the boy would otherwise go and do something stupid, like drink himself to death on an empty stomach.

Plus, reminding him he that he still had Troye to take care off would hopefully stop him from driving his car off of a bridge. Hopefully.

So, that was why Jacob was driving in the dark at ten PM to go and get some food. Because Troye had told him to. He couldn't risk ordering anything to be delivered - of course. Or well, he could, because there was this pizza place which was on their payroll, but... Jacob swallowed. They were on Curt's payroll. Or were they on his? He shook his head. He had cried enough about it. Whined like a little child. He should man up, that's what he should do. Jacob nodded to himself. He didn't really like the saying 'man up' though. He didn't really knew any men that could function as an example to him, anyway. He should woman up? No, that sounded stupid. Women were weak as well. People were weak creatures.

But whatever. Jacob grimaced and gripped the steering wheel more tightly. He should pay attention to the road, not muse about the role of men and women in his life. Stopping at a parking spot he googled for eating spots nearby. Being just his luck there was a McDonalds not that far from where he parked. Great. He had no idea what Troye liked though. Jacob shrugged and tossed his phone on the seat next to him. He'd just order the same thing twice.

After he got back and both of them had had their fill, they talked for a bit until they fell asleep on the mattress, facing each other, legs intertwined.

Troye woke up after what seemed like a mere few minutes to himself, but then he noticed the empty spot next to him. He felt the mattress; it wasn't cold yet. He must've woken up just after Jacob left the bed.

After spending so many nights being guarded at night, Troye was too afraid to get up. He knew there would be a guard telling him to get back into bed again. Instead he kept himself perfectly still and tried to listen. He strained his ears as hard as he could; he closed his eyes, he held his breath, and finally, he could hear Jacob's voice outside of the door, speaking softly on the phone.

He couldn't hear his words but he did notice that Jacob sounded pretty stressed out. Troye felt a strong urge to get up, open the door and just hold the boy close to him... But he didn't. Somehow, Jacob'a discomfort did way more to Troye than he wanted to admit.

Groaning, he turned around in the bed facing the wall. He could still hear Jacob talk softly. Who was he talking to? What was it about? Was it about Curt? Or was it... Troye swallowed. Maybe it was about him? Could Troye be talking about him?

Look at me, he thought. Lying in bed thinking about that guy as if he's your high school crush. Geez man, get a grip.

The following moments Troye spent the night in a state of being half asleep and half awake. Sometimes he thought he was dreaming - but he wasn't sure. It could be that those figures were actually in his room looming over him, about to wake him up because he had done something he wasn't allowed to...

Whenever something like that happened Troye would wake up with a jolt and a yell, drenched in sweat. How much time had passed? Five minutes? An hour? The whole night?

Every time he woke up like that, Troye decided not to go to sleep again until Jacob came back. If he would still come back that night. Was he still there? he would muse, and every time Troye would sit up straight with his back against the wall, holding his breath and keeping as still as he could. Then he would listen.

And Jacob was still there, every time Troye woke. He was still there talking on his phone, softly. Sometimes Troye would imagine he heard him laugh, sometimes he thought he heard him cry. Most of the time he just heard some mumbling through the thick door and that was it.

He was so exhausted after a while that he just completely gave up on keeping himself still in fear of the guard. He sat up straight against the wall, yawned, stretched and groaned, and then put the blanket over his crossed legs, softly humming so he would keep himself awake. After a while however he fell asleep again, only to wake with a sore back and neck.

Alright, this wasn't working. He really had to go to sleep and put Jacob out of his mind. Determined he laid down again, put the blanket over his shoulders and closed his eyes, right when the door opened.

Silently, Jacob made his way inside, closing the door soundlessly behind him. Troye shuffled underneath his blankets. "Jay?" he asked with a raspy voice.

"Yeah, I'm here. It's me," Jacob said. "Don't worry love, I've got you." Jacob tiptoed to the bed and slid underneath the blanket, pushing his body up to Troye's. "Hey love," he whispered in Troye's ear. Troye sighed contently and turned himself around, facing the other.

"Hey."

There was no light in the room, but still Troye could see Jacob's face. He carefully put his hand on Jacob's cheek and trailed Jacob's skin, from his ear to his chin. There, his thumb softly brushed over Jacob's bottom lip.

This time it was Jacob who let out a happy sigh and he opened his mouth slightly, looking Troye deeply in his eyes. Man his eyes are blue, Jacob thought. He could see his own face mirrored in them and he smiled a tiny smile. How cute.

"Troye I...," Jacob started, but Troye shushed him.

"It's okay."

Jacob nodded and came a bit closer to Troye so he could snuggle his head above Troye's, and Troye felt Jacob's large hand go over his side to his back, hugging him tightly. Troye's breath hitched as he felt Jacob's tall frame against his, their legs intertwined, their stomachs pressed together. He could feel Jacob's breath on his neck and as he looked up, his breath hitched again as he saw how close their faces were. Without thinking he closed his eyes, and then he felt Jacob press his lips on his own, and suddenly everything felt alright.

Suddenly, for some reason, everything was okay. Troye was calm again. He felt the stress of the last few weeks - or had it been months? Days?- slide off of him. He felt his heart slow down, and he felt their bodies melting together. The voices in his brain had gone silent, the shaking of his hands had stopped, and with Jacob so close to him he didn't feel as cold as he had been feeling all this time. Everything just felt... Okay. He opened his eyes again and inched closer, and Jacob looked down, his eyes still half closed but his lips slightly parted as if he knew what Troye intended to do. Wanted Troye to do it. They came closer, and closer, and Troye felt something soft being pressed against his lips and a weight on his body as he shifted to lay on his back, holding Jacob's hips, squeezing them softly...

And then, suddenly, he heard a soft 'thud' as if there was a door closing, and as he opened his eyes he saw Jacob making his way inside, lighting his own path with his phone. He heard Jacob sniffle a bit and Troye realised it had just been a dream.

And just like that, the calm feeling vanished again. Dammit.