stockholm syndrome - tracob

twelve

After Jacob had gotten into bed with him, Troye had slept like a baby for the rest of the night. The next morning he woke up – not super rested, but it could be worse – in the middle of the mattrres instead of to the side of the wall, meaning Jacob must've been gone for quite a while already.

Hm, too bad... For some reason Troye hoped he would see Jacob again this morning as he would open up his eyes. He sighed. He really had to stop himself from thinking like that. The dream from last night had been quite... Troye blushed as he thought about it again.

But god damn, could you blame him? It had been so vivid, with so many details... And Troye could still remember all of them. He could still feel Jacob's skin underneath his fingertips, he could still imagine those soft lips being pressed against his, and he could still recall the calmness he had felt when Jacob kissed him. A calmness like he had never experienced before. He could also feel his pants tighten as he thought about the dream again. He sighed. Troye missed the calm he had felt.

It wasn't like Troye had been a restless kid or whatever – he was actually a pretty calm person, shy even in some circumstances. It was more like Troye had always been pushed around by people, which had made him feel pretty anxious all the time.

And it wasn't like Troye had never kissed a guy before either...

There had been this one guy. When he was fourteen. He had been struggling with his feelings for a bit already because he felt like he was different. The showers with the rest of the boys made him feel uncomfortable and awkward. It was like he wasn't supposed to watch them, like he wasn't supposed to be there, so Troye tried to make up an excuse as often as he could. And if he couldn't, he would just be as slow as he could with changing, so he would only get there once everyone was already out. It wasn't like he had any real friends waiting for him anyway, so there was no rush to anything he did.

But then, there had been this one day... Another kid from his class had been slow as well, and Troye had secretly suspected him of doing that on purpose because he knew Troye would be slower than the others too, but he didn't dare to voice his thoughts. Why on earth would someone like Tyler wait for him?

Tyler was a nice kid. He was funny, and had a good group of friends. He was one of the few people who said hi to Troye when they saw each other in the hallway, and the thought of showering with him, it being just the two of them, made Troye way more nervous than he thought he should be.

Troye had also been older than Troye was, two years. Tyler was a pretty boy, bright blue eyes with long lashes and dark blonde hair.

So when Troye found himself alone in the shower with Tyler there was quite a bit confusion for him, but Tyler had quickly calmed him down, saying he didn't need to worry about anything. Then he had taken Troye's shampoo bottle from Troye's hands and taken Troye's towel as well, laughing at Troye's confused and shocked face. Without hesitation he pushed Troye towards the showers and started washing his hair.

"I've always quite fancied your curls, you know?" he had told Troye. Troye had been so shocked he just nodded. He felt paralyzed, as every time Tyler would touch him he would feel like he got electric shocks trough his body.

After this first shower experience they had shared many more showers together, some of them even taking place at night as everyone was asleep. For about a year and a half, everything was great; although they kept it a secret for the rest of the people, Troye didn't mind. He liked Tyler, and if Tyler said they shouldn't tell people because they might not agree, Troye believed him.

But, somehow, someone found out. Or well, not just anyone. Steele.

Swallowing, Troye turned around on his mattress, trying to stop his walk down memory lane. He didn't like thinking about Tyler. It made him remember the bad days, too.