The 525 Files.

Lullaby

Past ten p.m.

I asked Mama to turn off the lights but leave the room unlocked since she was checking on me from time to time.

After taking the medications prescribed to me my body felt relieved. Nawala na yung sakit ng tiyan ko but I want to sleep. I slept almost the whole afternoon. If not for Dj's calls baka tulog lang ako hanggang gumabi.

He was worried. Syempre. Halata sa boses niya kanina na he wanted to come to me right away kaso he had prior commintments and I did not want to be the cause for their delay. Okay naman na ako. Mama is with me and sabi ng doctor I should be fine after receiving the fluids and meds. Honestly, I feel a lot better.

"Bal, I can ask to resched. No problem naman eh. Kakausapin ko yung--" I was on the phone with him earlier.

"Balii, huwag na. Uuwi na rin ako right after ako matignan ulit ng doctor. She said pwede na ako umuwi and continue my rest sa house. You'll go naman later di ba? Finish mo na lang yan." I told him. It's enough for us na isa lang ang hindi nakapag work. I understand naman. It's work.

"Syempre." he said and from the tone of his voice alam kong his lips are puckered  up. He pouts like that when he starts to baby talk. "Saan pa ba ako uuwi kundi sayo?" I tried not to laugh when he said it but then my feelings betrayed me because I smiled a little,no,a lot like I wasn't in pain anymore.

That's just one of the many things Dj does to me. He makes me smile. He makes me happy. He makes my stomach pain bearable just by listening to his sweet nothings over the phone.

I checked on my phone. It's alteady 10:15 pm. He called 30 minutes ago malapit na raw siya dito. So any moment from now baka dumating na siya.

I look like a mess. I haven't combed my hair since nag sponge bath lang ako kanina when I came home from the hospital. I was lying on my bed the whole time. Mama brought me the things I asked for so hindi talaga ako tumayo para mag ayos.

I was wearing an old Enderun shirt tapos shorts. My hair is tied in a bun which I think is a messy one by now. I was thinking if I should get up and comb at least pero ilang minuto lang I heard his voice dow stairs. Kausap pa niya si Mama. So hindi na rin ako tumayo.

"Akyatin ko lang po..." I could hear Dj's voice from my room since the door was left half opened.

After few steps he opened the door to my room inviting the light from outside. I saw his shadow first and then slowly his face became clear to me.

Dressed in black, his hair brushed up as usual. He gave me a smile. "Bakit ang dilim dito? Can I open one light?" he said asking for my permission.

"Okay..." I rubbed my eyes a bit as I sat down. Naupo siya beside me and immediately he gave me his tightest hug. "Kamusta na ang baby ko?" he asked burying his nose on my neck. The he kissed me multiple times. Sa forehead, both my cheeks and a soft peck on the lips.

"Hmmm. I feel better now. I just need to rest some more. Okay na ako tomorrow I'm sure." I assured Dj. I don't want him to worry so much. He kept looking at me with sad eyes.

"Hindi ka muna mag work bukas ha? Please rest ka muna. Ako ng kakausap sa kanila."

"Love, hindi pwede." I disagreed but I know Dj won't take it.

"Ayy basta. Ako na kakausap. Baka mabinat ka pa eh. Di ka na nagsusuka?" He joined me to bed. Naupo din siya resting his head sa headboard like me.

I didnt insist on it anymore. Dj pats his lap letting me rest on them. Agad naman ako nahiga. I feel a lot better now that he's here.

Pagkahiga ko sa lap niya, he pulled the elastic on my hair putting it aside. Dj started stroking my hair. He always loved to play with my hair. Lagi niyang sinusuklay  gamit ang kamay niya. He would tell me he loved how soft my hair was and I instantly become relaxed with his gentle massage on my scalp.

"Hmmm. It feels nice. Baka makatulog ako Love." I told him.

I heard him chuckle. "Okay lang. I'll sleep here with you. Papayag naman yun si Tita sabihin ko aalagaan kita."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Yes. I will be with you all night. Sabi kasi nila kailangan mo lang ng yakapsule at kisspirin from me." he pulled away for a while to take off his shoes and climbed back to bed with me.

I looked at him amused. Saan na naman niya nakuha yung yakapsule at kisspirin.

Dj slid inside my sheets to lay beside me. Umayos ako ng pagkakahiga para makahiga din siya sa mabuti aa tabi ko.

"How was your shoot?" I asked tracing circles on his chest.

"Ayun okay naman. Mabilis naman kameng natapos ni Lelay." he started stroking my back. "Inayos ko talaga para mabilis matapos para mapuntahan na kita."

"Thank you Love for being here." I said

"Dami nga nilang sinasabi eh. Lahat pa sila duda kung pupuntahan talaga kita." he said. It was evident in his voice na he is ticked off.

Kaya tumingin ako sa kanya. I moved my head upwards to look at his face. "Hmmmm, why? You told me before na huwag na magbasa those kinds of tweets and comments." I reminded him.

"Wala nakaka badtrip lang kasi. Hanggang ngayon ha hindi pa rin sila nauubusan ng sasabihin. Ako yung napapagod sa kanila eh. Pati yung pag palit ko ng caption hinuhusgahan nila. Eh paano pag apelyido mo na ang papalitan ko? Mag dududa pa din sila?" he started speaking and I listened.

"They will never ran out of things to say Love. So the key is to ignore them and let them be. That is the closest they'll gonna get. They will never see you the way I do and it's okay. They can say many things that you are and you are not but I will always know who you are. Sa akin, you are enough. More than actually." I told him and I managed to laugh a little in the end.

Nawala ang kunot sa sungit face ni Dj and by that I know I made him feel better.

"You always know the right things to say my Tangi." ayan na naman ang pout ng lips niya.

"Eh you were the one who told me that before eh. I realized it also. If we keep on minding those people who wants to give validation to what we have, matagal na siguro tayong wala. They will not stop Love, never. So we should. We should stop letting other people get into our relationship. Ikaw lang saka ako. Tayo lang dapat ang magmamatter." I told him. He gently wrapped both his arms around my waist so I am brought closer to him.

"Napaka swerte ko sa buhay. Alam mo ba yun?" he mumbled softly. If I would not see his face I would say he is close to tears already.

"Why? Because you have me?" I batted my lashes at him trying to be cute. Though it was dim, I'm sure he could see because he smiled at me.

"Yes. Because I have you. Because you love me. Because we choose each other lagi." he would caress my cheek as he spoke to me. I become defenseless in his stares. It's the kind that makes me wonder I am blessed to have him while others thinks it's a curse. I shake my head inside. They will never know how I am being loved by this beautiful man right here. And f, I will never tell.

Between us, we have a story beautiful in the eyes of the ones who accepts if not, understands. Most especially it is beautiful in both me and Dj's eyes because we are the ones who made our story.

We can show others what we have, thought not all and it is not as important as others think that they believe in what we show them. Take it or just leave.

But I will not let go nor I will change the way I see him, the way I love him. Captions, pictures and quotes-- there's many but our love can't be edited or it is temporary.

"Aking kamahalan huwag mangamba...akong bahala sa iyo. Tagapagsilbi ng magdamagan dito sa ting kastilyo...ipaglalaban, pagmamahalan. Wala ng mas hihigit pa dito sa reyna ng puso ko." he started humming and singing me his song.

He was making small patting motion with his hand over my back and hips like putting a child to sleep. I closed my eyes trying to go to sleep and the closer I get, I could feel his heartbeat beating fast. It was the best lullaby I ever heard.

His song. His heartbeat. Dj's love on repeat.