Crumbling Under Pressure

Chapter 3

Johan have experienced humiliation from different parts of his life. The taunting and the bullying originated from it and somehow its popularity increased that a game called 'pin the tail of the miserable' was solely made at him.

Their amusement, frustration and even envy, he felt it all. He hears their hateful threats and impossible wishes thrown against him; either physical or verbal assaults, he drowns from it and breathes in the pain.

Johan ironically understood the torture, considering the fact that the embodiments of perfection live with the same roof as he did. While every part of his skin were written with so many imperfection that they laugh at his insecurities to hide their own.

The cycle repeats and the curtain was raised for the joker to play.

"You're fine," the doctor stated and continued to write on his clipboard. "Just a panic attack, that's all."

The room he was in was occupied by other patients who were hidden away by each other with white curtains from both sides and one close to the edge of their beds, even him. He was lying down with nothing but the hospital pajamas he was forced to wear. He shrugged at the doctor's statement and thought it was better than having a needle inside of him.

"Just a panic attack!?" Mia exaggerated, emphasizing the man's words. "He was practically dying!"

The doctor cleared his throat and directed his eyes at her. She immediately flinched and as from the intensity from the stare, Johan easily cowered and shorten by it.

No use for familiarity.

"I'm a cardiologist and neither a psychologist nor therapist but I do know that he isn't dying," Mia looked at the man, probably confused. Johan counted and took a deep breath, waiting for the big reveal to pop up sooner than later. He clenched his fists and waited.

"And considering that this is his second time to be sent to the hospital from his anxiety, I guess my advice wasn't being listened or did as told, isn't that right?" The intensity of both of their stares were being directed at him, he can feel the shivers already going down his spine and he was scared to even move an inch of his body.

He opens his mouth and closes, and sighs to let the heavy tension out from his system but it continues its way around him, burdening the shoulders that he has.

"I don't think it was necessary," he replied, his voice itches from the coughing earlier.

He raised his gaze up to the white ceiling and noticed the stale smell of alcohol and 'other medical stuff' surrounding the area. The low voices of talks from both of his sides were depressing in content. He, too, was depressed from coming back here, where he doesn't belong.

Mia and the doctor began to talk about him, at least that is what he hears from the hushed tones at edge of his bed. At she was concerned for his well-being or maybe not.

He can see her taking a few peeks between their discussion and he looks away, feeling an inch shorter just from it. The words such as 'counseling' and 'worry' were thrown more than a few times and he wonders what would feel like if their places were switched.

His heart clenched just getting an glimpse of an insecure and heartbroken Mia lying down on a bed. But with how she currently is, at the moment, she won't be the one to be crushed from a certain diagnosis.

He exhaled and licked his lips.

They stopped talking and he glanced at them, he clenched his fists along with the blanket that covered his body.

"Bro?" Mia called him and tone was wavered, airy.

"Yeah," he answered. "So what's the verdict?"

Someone cleared their throat from the other side and the doctor processed to slide open the curtain. He can hear the drums rolling for their climax and he wonders why this scene becoming familiar.

"John's the verdict," the doctor answered for him. A figure slides in the perimeter of the tiny space of his bed; a tall man with features closely similar to his came inside and with a look that brought him to react in an instant.

He quickly sit up, not minding the cool air slapped across his skin and his eyes have widened along with his mouth open.

"John!?" He gasped. "You're here?"

John, his older brother, is handsome; with his light tan skin, brown hair and eyes, along with a perfect sculpted jaw and a muscled body hidden away in a lab coat, he can easily his quit job as a doctor and be hired in the entertainment business. At least that is what Johan thought.

"Obviously, this is our family's hospital," John pointed out and crossed his arms on his chest. "What happened to you?"

He looks down. "It's nothing."

"It isn't completely nothing when Dr. Smith calls me on my lunch break," John stated and sat down on his bed. His older brother placed his hand on his shoulder and their eyes met, it was awkward.

He was forced to look at a perfect clone of him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" John asked again.

He gulps the burden.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Are you lying?" John questions him and somehow he was stuck, he was confused to answer.

Was he lying? Is he really okay? He doesn't seem to feel ill or anything, but he worries to get the wrong answer and it will cause more trouble for everyone, and even for himself.

But anxiety is nothing, right? Just because of a tiny attack he was sent back to where shit happens. He hates it.

"I don't know," a sigh emitted from his brother and he bit his lips wondering if he had chose a wrong answer.

John left, bringing along Dr. Smith by the shoulder and began to discuss whatever as they exited the perimeter. Mia quickly replaced his brother's place and did the same to place a hand on his shoulder, the grip tighten and he swore she was imitating what his brother's movement.

Their eyes were against each other, similar in color but different in shades. He can smell caffeine on her breath.

She gave out a crooked smiled and her eyes darted from him to everywhere, as if she was unsure on what to say. "Your brother's hot."

He couldn't bother to hide the snort coming from him and a few chuckles that he had let out in front of her. She as well laughed at her own comment and the grip on his shoulder began to loosen and it loses the warmth from before.

"So, is he gay?" She asked and he thought about it, trying to remember tidbits of his brother's past relationships.

He was relieved, at least for her to change the subject.

He concentrated on the said subject and although he wasn't so sure to know that his brother was interested in someone, he knew that the man had dated before. Mostly women he never completely knew.

"I don't think so, no," he answered and Mia's eyes shone with a thought. He wonders if he could can state the connected dots from her imagination.

"Well, you are looking at the your future sister-in-law, little bro," she winked at him and he giggled at the suave of a smile on her face.

He doubts for the future she wanted.

"Johan," John said his name and he instantly frowned, moving away from Mia. His older brother came inside and his brows furrowed at their direction.

"Let me help you," his brother pleaded and he can only shrugged as an answer.

He licked his lips. "I guess."

I'm sorry for the late update.. to be honest i do have a lot of free time I gotta lot of things in my mind.. but chill bros if I'm finish with my shit tomorrow I'll probably (hopefully) update in a few days.. oh yeah i apologise for the short chapter

With u' - distance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lap9V0ls24Y