Burr: Are you talking shit about me Hamilton?
Hamilton: Well the thing is, not only am I talking shit about you, but I'm talking so much shit that I'm not sure which time you're pissed about. Here's an itemized list of 30 years of disagreements, can you please point out which one we're fighting about today?
Burr: Why do you just carry that piece of paper around in your pocket
Hamilton: *takes out quill* *writes* 'also does not agree with how i manage my belongings'
Burr: ;-; bruh
Burr: Well what're you just standing there for? Gimme it so I can choose one and we can duel and then I can kill you
Hamilton:
Hamilton: ...
Hamilton: ........'does not agree with why i spend my time standing wherever'
Burr: Sweet Jesus
Hamilton: Here *holds out a thick list of paper with both hands* *almost falls over*
Burr: WTFFFFF HAMILTON THIS IS LIKE 100,000 WORDS
Hamilton: ehh I've written more tbh
Burr: This is why I fucking hate you
Burr: *grabs list* *falls backwards*
Hamilton: uhh Burr? You okay, friend? *pokes Burr* oh no no this isn't good
Burr: x_x
Hamilton: hmm... I can't help but feel partially responsible for this
Burr: bITCH YOURE THE ONE WHO FUCKING WROTE AND HANDED ME THE DAMN LIST
Hamilton: oh. yay... burr's alive. joy
Burr: I swear, one day, I'm going to shoot you
Hamilton: PFFT! you're funny! yea, right Burr you'd never shoot me! I'm your friend!
Burr: uh yea I'm joking of course ha ha ha!
Hamilton: Well which one, I have better things to do than hang out with you all day
Burr: *looks*
Itemized List of 30 Years of Disagreements with Aaron Burr
•Burr doesn't agree with my smile/ talk ratio
•Burr thinks I run my mouth too much
•Burr does not stand for what he believes in
•Burr thinks I talk too loud
•Burr underestimates my abilities
•Burr is indecisive
•Burr doesn't like the length of my hair
•Burr is lame
•Burr told everyone that he thinks I'm annoying. Well I think Burr's annoying and I just wrote a short 300 page essay on why
•Burr thinks that he should have been Washington's right hand man
•Burr called me a bastard
•Burr thinks he's hotter than me
•Burr is a loner with no friends
•Burr thinks 'Weirder Things: The Pamphlet Series' is boring
•Burr is dumb
•Burr looked at me weirdly today
•Burr is too self-centered, he never takes my good advice
•Burr wouldn't share his gum with me
•Burr roasted me, so I roasted Burr back
•Burr got pissed because I corrected his grammar mistakes when we were talking earlier
•Burr thinks that Charles Lee counts as a person
•Burr looked at John today. HES MINE BACK OFF BITCH
...etc...
Burr: So, you and john (Lenny)?
Hamilton: hsyikjgrscbjk
Hamilton: ANYWAYS! Which one?
Burr: *cough* pETTY *cough*
Hamilton: Excuse me?
Burr: You took the time to write down every little disagreement, which is a lot btw, for the past 30 years!
Hamilton: It's a normal, therapeutic way to spend my time
Burr: No it's not!!!!! You literally recorded that fact that I looked at you weird almost 20 years ago
Hamilton: ...
Hamilton: ...well, you did
Burr: *facepalm*
YOU ARE READING
Hamilton Crack
Fanfiction**warning: this book may result in cancer** Literally a book full of stolen tumblr posts and Hamilton memes. Nevertheless, this book definitely has all the Hamilton crack and trash you could ever desire
