Shrek carried Farquaad into the hotel, and and threw him onto the bed. They cuddled for a little bit, and looked into each others eyes, feeling the moment, feeling what seemed to be, and very well could be, true love.
"Ey ladeh, Ave you ever kissed an ogre before? They say there's a faint taste of onions on their breath, if you can handle it."
"Oh Shrek, I can do more than handle it!" Farquaad said. Farquaad then proceeded to passionately make out with Shrek. Everything was perfect. His hand on Shrek face, Shrek's hot breath, everything. Farquaad started unzipping his pants, but Shrek stopped him, blurting out "Ay ladeh, what do ye think yer doin'?"
"What do you mean?" Farquaad responded, rather stunned.
"We've haven't even known each other for a day, and yer already trying to fuck me? Is this all you were after? Sex?" Shrek starting tearing up.
"No! It's not that! I promise you!"
"I knew this was too good to be true. I should've just stayed in my swamp." Shrek turned to leave the room.
"Wait!" Farquaad cried, but it was too late. Shrek was gone. Farquaad had driven him out. "If only I could've just kept it in my pants, none of this would've happened!"
Shrek ran out of the hotel, tears streaming down his face. He went to a vendor and bought an onion to help try and cheer him up, but it didn't work. Shrek was completely and utterly destroyed. He was going to go into another hotel, but the tears of memory started swelling in his eyes, and he couldn't pull himself through the door, so he ran away, and hid into a back alley. It started raining, but Shrek didn't care. With the betrayal he just felt, nothing could make him feel any better. Nothing.
Farquaad was so stunned, so ashamed.
"How could this happen?" he thought "I... I never thought I'd mess up so badly..."
Farquaad was as equally destroyed as Shrek. But Farquaad had something he needed to do that kept him going. He had to apologize to Shrek. He ran out of the hotel, and it started raining, but he didn't care. All he cared about was finding Shrek and apologizing, even if he and Shrek couldn't hook up afterwards, as long as Shrek knows he meant no harm, that'd be enough.
"Have you seen any ogres around here?" He'd ask all the townspeople he saw walking around. Fortunately, ogres aren't that common a sight, so he was quickly able to locate Shrek. "Shrek!" he exclaimed as soon as he saw him.
"Farquaad?" Shrek said, lifting his head.
"Shrek, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken things so fast. I should've respected the fact that you weren't ready yet."
"Farquaad...
Ay...
Thank ye..."
"Shrek, I promise to never hurt you again. But only if you promise to never make me worry like this again" Farquaad shot a smile at him.
"Ay promise..."
Farquaad helped Shrek up, and kissed him. It was a risky move, but Farquaad just couldn't resist. Shrek smiled and said "Ey ladeh, you could've waited till we got back to te hotel" but then quickly kissed Farquaad back.
This wasn't an ordinary kiss, however. This was the kiss of love. The kiss of true love. They were truly meant to be.
