Our New Kind of Real

Do You Remember?

pastelsandwaterfalls

Noel was sitting down on the concrete ledge, near the bright green bushes. He sat quietly, until what was a small, child-like voice interrupted his thoughts. Toby.

"Hey.." he whispered.

"Hm?" Noel responded.

"Do you remember that time at soccer practice where I had fallen and twisted my ankle, so you helped me wrap it and put ice on it?

That time it hurt so very badly, that I nearly hugged the life out of you while you told me I'd get through it, that I was strong?

Remember that you checked me over six times for any bruises or cuts, or anything of that variety.

Or do you remember the time that I was so sick that I was in the hospital? Remember that from the second you came in you told me that you'd never leave and you had stayed with me for hours upon hours?

Remember how I looked like a wreck, and was throwing up and coughing profusely, but you still held onto my hand and smiled each time I had the strength to open my eyes?

Do your remember how you knew my family and other friends thought it was weird, but you left me flowers and all sorts of cards each day. You spent your whole savings on the flowers, so you handmade the cards. They weren't the most beautiful or artistic thing I had ever seen, but you made so many of them.

Maybe you even remember that time we wanted to try to bake cookies and different kinds of sweets? We went in confident saying how we would be able to do this, together.

But, they weren't at all good. Remember when we mixed it poorly, put in too many chocolate chips, put in way too much flour, and just couldn't get even the flavor right, no matter how many recipes we tried?

Do you remember how we used all of our parents baking supplies and ended with a big mess in my kitchen, so big my mom yelled at us for an hour and we were both grounded for a week?

It was amazingly fun though.

Or how you took me to your family's gigantic Christmas party for the weekend?

Maybe you remember that time that I was sitting outside in the cold and in the rain after my parents were fighting, and I had texted you and you had taken me to your house?

Remember how I ended up sick the next day and you made me soup and gave me crackers, brought me all sorts or candies and took care of me? Do you remember how you fed me medicine and---"

"Stop," he silenced the voice, "No. I don't. I don't remember. Because it. never .happened."

A single tear ran down his cheek as he walked to the edge, looked in, and turned his attentition to the stone.

Here lies Toby H. Connaway, loving family member, loving friend. He will be missed.

Tears continued to run down his face as Noel muttered to himself.

"I look back at our relationship and wish I could have actually tried. I wished I treated you like you were the only thing that was needed in my life. I wish I tried to make an effort. I wish I acted on my wish to grow old with you" Noel bitterly thought as he stared down at the boy's sickly green skin.

He scoffed, "Who knew it would be me that would outlive you."

Noel laughed, "This look doesn't look good on you."

He looked down to the only thing he'd given Toby, a plaid old shirt that used to be his. It was laid neatly on top of Toby.

He did remember that day though.

~

'Here' Noel muttered to Toby as he threw the shirt at his face.

'It's yours' he said.

'But isn't it yours?' Toby questioned.

'You can have it' he responded.

'But its way too large for me' Toby said.

'You'll get used to it' Noel said back.

Toby stood there as Noel turned his back to Toby and started to walk away.

Tears formed in his beautiful brown eyes.

'Thank you..' Toby whispered in the smallest voice.

~

He continued to look, while he said, "I wish I was there for you, to be the boyfriend I should've been, that you always wanted. I wish I was there for you when your parents kicked you out, or when you went to the hospital, or even when they told you that you had cancer.

I'm an awful person.

I know that."

"Dammit."

Inspired by a post on Tumblr.