Again

Ch.6

3 days later

I'd spent the past couple days getting things organized. Lucas and I were spending a lot of time together and I still was yet to reply to all of you know whose profusely sent apology messages. I was doing pretty good. I'm finally getting the hang of skating but I can't do any of the fancy stuff yet, like ollies.
Today my roommate is coming and Lucas and I are going to go do some stuff so hopefully I can settle in some more.
So far I've learned a lot on my board. Luke has been teaching me a little every day, and the skate park down the road helps a lot.
I've only been here a few days but the people I've met so far, especially Lucas, have shown me a life I never dreamt of. I've always lived an organized, perfectly in order life. Luke showed me how to let go and try new things. Even simple things like sushi which I tried last night at a beautiful sushi bar Lucas and I went to. It's actually great which surprised me massively! Who knew raw fish could be so yummy.
Anyway... I'm getting out of my comfort zone and today is the day that I'm officially cutting off my old life. I've packed a bag of things that remind me of my old life, I've decided to throw out a majority of my clothes; my style is too put together. Lucas and I were going to head to the landfill then go shopping for my new look.

"Knock knock!" I heard Luke yell as he walked in my dorm and plopped down on my bed.

"Well I would say come in but..." I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes.

"Salty much?" He asked teasingly.

"We should get going soon because I'm hungry and my roommate will be here soon so I want to get back asap."

"You're the boss" he answered.

"You act like we're married sometimes!" I joked

"Well I thought we were." Luke replied as he grabbed my arm and spun me around like they do in those fancy slow dances.

"How silly of me to forget." I said while sarcastically tapping my chin.

With that we headed out the door and down to my jeep which we had removed the doors and top off of. We threw the bags of all my junk in there and drove to the landfill. Once we arrived I got a little emotional. I knew I was just throwing away some clothes and other stuff but it meant much more. I was letting go of everything I ever loved and everything that used to make me happy. I was letting go of everything I ever knew. But know I knew much more and hoped that I would learn even more than that. Things were different now but it was still hard letting go of the past.
I took the bags out of the jeep and Lucas followed behind me with the rest of the boxes. We sat them down at the edge of the landfill.

"Here's to a new beginning." Luke said as he looked at me. He clearly picked up on my bad vibes earlier because I could hear a hint of empathy in his voice.

"You know it." I said as I smiled even though tears were welling up.

I began to pick up a box but soon Luke stopped me.

"What?!" I said a little frustrated.

"It's not that easy Alana. You have to go item by item and I want to know why your throwing it out." He answered

"It's ok to hurt. That's what this is about. Letting it all out." He continued.

"Well fine then." I said realizing I had to feel my emotions and take the pain before I could move on. It's easy to ignore feelings but you have to acknowledge and accept them if you're going to move on and grow.