This is the time she hated the most. That small amount of time she was still awake before she fell into the bliss if sleep. Her demons always waited until then. She could have said something about the monster under her bed, or the demon in her closet, but who would believe her?
During this time she fought with herself. There were so many things she wanted to tell people. Solutions to there problems they might not like, the pain killing her inside, that one drama that happened 3 months ago everyone's still going on about. It was terrible. Others always had it worse, or maybe she was too busy worrying herself into breakdown over them to remind herself. Your a person too.
She felt trapped.
She felt betrayed.
She felt insignificant.
She knew she barely mattered.
She didn't want to do it anymore.
She was tired of answering "fine" or "meh". She wanted others to care. To listen. She felt responsible for everything she couldn't fix. All those people who drove her to countless break down, they ment more than herself.
There's always a little knowledge behind every "I don't know". A little emotion behind every "I don't care". But... She's come to ignore it. Because, again, Anna is upset about not turning in all her homework and won't eat. She's worried about Galen. He's too much like her. He's so selfless. Dosen't know when to quit.
Why?
Why would he put her first? Why would anyone? She's worried about the person she loves the most. She dosen't want to loose her. She dosen't want her to suffer. But... There so far apart. She can't do anything about it. It bothers her. She can't hug her friend. She can't sing to her. The closest she has is Rosewood. When she hugged Rosewood she felt her friend hugging back. It was comforting.
The dark was also a problem. Nightmares would dig themselves out of her head and into the darkness. She never left the bed, never questioned the sounds, and kept her mouth shut. Her mind seemed so set on torturing her with all the things she did and didn't do.
Why didn't you go and see Lyndsy instead of skiping lunch again?
It was so draining. She stared at the 10 lines on her wrists during this time. The ink on her wrist and arm reminding her that she did this to herself. This was no ones fault besides her own. And that made her cry.
Not because it was sad. Because she knew nothing else. All she's know it pain, blame, guilt, fals love, fals hope... And that made her cry. The fact she couldn't change her own mind.
The clock was ticking. She was running out of time.
Tick tock.
Tick tock.
There coming for me.
I'm running out of time.
The demons are coming for me.
