Behind Her Smile (A Jasper Hale Love Story)

Chapter Two

          As I walked through the maze of greenery, my thoughts wandered. As much as I loved my mom, I knew that once she had settled in, she would start drinking again. I believe she had already loaded the fridge with miscellaneous drinks. My thoughts lead to my dad. To my surprise, I felt bad for mom. They had loved each other for 20 years now, and then he decides to cheat on her. I remember that day, many months ago, when she caught him red handed. The girl he had been caught having sex with, name was Rita. I remember the look of surprise, shock, and horror and her cake-like face, red lipstick smeared across her cheer. I remember the whole fight, my parents haven't even bothered to send me somewhere else. My mom, yelling, tears running down her face. My father, shocked, defending himself. Me, gone pale, shock on my face. Rita, who had just sat there on the bed, naked, making puppy eyes and playing it innocent. Then there was her. As if whispering in my ear, she told me in a smooth voice to go downstairs, and grab the sharpest knife. Me, in my head, resting the blade deep into the heart of Rita, and my dad meeting the same fate. She told me to let her take over, let her do it. She said that if she did it, it would be easier on me. But I didn't. I couldn't let her tear me apart like that. She was only the voice in my head, she wasn't real.

Thinking about her scared me. I promised myself never to think about her again, she was forbidden. But I couldn't stop myself from thinking about her. I wondered how and why she finally left my head and mind after six years. I keep telling myself that it was normal. That maybe I was just depressed, and even suicidal. Maybe the voice was just my consciousness. But your consciousness never spoke to you like that. I felt so real when she'd speak, as if she was right there, standing besides me. As if she was really there, bending down to whisper in my ear. Of course, I haven't ever seen her. She seemed like she was purely only a character of imagination. But she was much more than that.

I realized that I've been so lost in thought for the last hour, that I hadn't realized it has been getting dark. I also found myself sitting on a log. I stood, up, and wiped the moss off my pants. I hadn't gone that far, so I followed the distant light back home.