Chapter 4:
Taylor and I were closer than ever before but we didn't talk about the same stuff we did before all of this happened. We used to talk about parties, boys, gossip going around in the school, TV drama series and other stuff like that but, now, we talk about books that we've read in our free time, school assignments and documentaries on TV. I liked talking about that stuff but I kind of wanted to talk about what we were going to do with me and when the babies come.
I wanted to know how long Michelle would let me stay at her house. I also wanted to know what options I had for the babies and what would be best for them. I wanted to know if I had to go to therapy because of all I've been through in such a short amount of time. I also wanted to know what I needed to do when it was time for giving birth. All of this scared me but I wanted to know something, anything at all.
I was so distracted with all of these thoughts that I wasn't even paying attention to the classes. I was top in my classes but every question the teachers asked me, I got wrong. They all asked me if something was wrong but I just told them that I had a lot going on in my head. I wasn't lying; I just wasn't telling them the whole truth. Taylor and I weren't talking to Caroline because she was the one that knew those guys and invited them but it wasn't her fault, we knew that much, she just wasn't worth trusting anymore. She must've noticed this because she kept trying to talk to us but we just told her we were busy and couldn't talk.
All of this was too much for me. Everything that was familiar to me was changing too quickly and I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind. It's all too much for a 13 year old to take. Things that I used to find important now hold no importance to me whatsoever. Like boys and parties. Those 2 things were the cause of all this.
(-)
"Amanda, we need to talk, honey." Michelle said when Taylor and I got back from school. I just nodded and followed her to the living room where we sat down.
"What's wrong?" Taylor asked her mom.
"Amanda, sweetie, I know you have a lot going on through your head right now but I just called your mom and she did mean it when she said she didn't want you in the house. She told me she didn't want babies running around the house and that she also didn't want to be a 30 year old grandmother. I know this hurts and that it is a lot to take in but I think I know a way to make it all better."
"What is it?" Taylor and I asked at the same time.
"I was thinking that I could adopt you. I have always seen you like another daughter and I wouldn't mind making it official." That was the good news I was waiting for. I was so glad she didn't mind adopting me even thought I was pregnant with twins at the age of 13. And I also saw her like a second mother. Hell, I always thought of her as my first mother and my real mother like… like someone I had to stand.
"Are you serious?" Taylor's eyes lit up
"Of course I'm serious! I love you with all my heart, Amanda, and it hurts me seeing you go through all of this at such a young age. I really want to help you and I think this may be the way." I ran over to her and gave her the biggest hug I could manage. It just made me so happy to know she cared enough to give up so much to help me. I was so overwhelmed with happiness I started crying on Michelle's shoulder.
"Oh, honey, don't cry."
"I'm just so happy! Thank you so much for caring so much, I need that." I wiped away my tears. I hugged Michelle for a few more moments and went and hugged Taylor. I was going to have a loving family, like I always wanted. I wasn't stuck to a depressed alcoholic mother and a cheating and lying father and the memory of my runaway older brother. I was going to have a loving woman as my mom, my best friend as my sister and 2 babies. Well, I'm still trying to figure out what was for them so I can't really say much about that. All of those thoughts aside, today was one of the best days I've had in a while.
I never actually hated my life, I wasn't living on the street or anything, but I have been through a lot. When I was a baby I had a loving family, at least that's what my brother used to tell me. My mom and dad were happily married with a 10 year old boy named Troy and a baby girl named Amanda. When I was 2 years old, my mother found out that my father was cheating on her. The divorce was nasty especially for Troy who was 12 years old. In my mother's depression she turned to alcohol so Troy had to basically raise me. I loved him with all my heart because he was to me like a father when our real one left us and like a mother when our real one wouldn't give a damn about us.
By the time Troy was 15, he was a very handsome boy and the girls were starting to notice. I remember one day, about a week before he started changing, when he swore he wouldn't do exactly what he did.
"I love you, princess." He told as he was tugging me in bed and kissing my forehead.
"I love you more!" I told him smiling brightly at him with my 2 front teeth missing. He just chuckled.
"No, I love way more, princess." He smiled his true smile, the one he saved only for me.
"I love you so much I'm going to marry you when I'm big like you!" I hugged his chest as tightly as a 5 year old girl can. I could barely hug his torso because he was so buff my little arms couldn't get around him.
"Sure you are, baby girl." He kissed the top of my head and hugged my tiny body, careful not to squish me. He tugged me in and right when I started to fall asleep I told him, "Don't ever leave me."
"I won't baby girl, I promise." But he broke that promise. He started watching fewer movies with me, took me less to the park and stopped spending most of his time with me. He was on the football team and had to play a lot and the time he did have free, he spent with a lady friend. Rarely were they the same.
When I turned 8 years old, the morning of my birthday, he took me to school. He hugged me and kissed my cheek. He never did that anymore but, strangely, he did that morning.
"Happy birthday, baby girl, and remember, I love you. Always have, always will." He took off and I went to my classroom. After school, I waited outside for him, like I always did, but he didn't come. Minutes turned to hours but I still waited for him, thinking he was only a little late. The police took me home after 8:00 pm and still I waited for him. Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years, but he never came back.
