Tell No One

Chapter 8

Shakily, Kiera closed the door behind her. She had run home, the feeling of elation slowly turning to fear and disgust until finally, she reached her apartment. Suddenly feeling exhausted, Kiera sunk down the door until she rested on the floor. Her body was wracked with big sobbing breaths that left her shuddering. Why... why had she done that? Killing those two thieves/murderers was once thing... But burning down a church? Kiera suddenly jumped up and started pacing, filled with nervous energy. Some small part of her knew it didn't really matter if anyone died- they weren't gone from existence as such- but here, on Earth, they wouldn't exist anymore. Kiera's mind, in hyper drive, realised something. Racing to the living room, Kiera flicked on the T.V. After flicking through the channels, she finally found the News.

"...fire down Brewer Street. Witnesses report that the blaze was abrupt, and vicious. Firefights arrive at the scene only 12 minutes after they were called- However, it was too late for the occupants. So far, 23 have been found deceased- but more fatalities are suspected." Kiera reeled back, tuning out the reporter's voice, unable to take any more. The full magnitude of what she had done hit her. 23 dead. More suspected. Kiera fell to the floor, collapsing like a marionette with its strings cut.

"Hey Sparky, how're you-" Kiera heard Mera's voice materialise behind her, his cheerful manner tapering off as he looked at the broken girl on the ground. His eyes flicked up to the T.V, the camera doing a wide shot view of the burning church. From this angle, the true destructive force of the fire was revealed, an inferno of bright flame. No one could survive that.
Mera sighed, and took a seat next to her. He watched her eyes, saw that they were staring at the screen, but not really seeing. Tears welled in her eyes, turning them glassy, and in them, he could see the fire reflected. Saying nothing, he put a comforting hand on her back, and they both watched the footage together.
"You know..." Mera's voice was quiet, rolling over the monotones of the reporter. "What you did wasn't bad." Kiera didn't react. She stilled stared into oblivion, branded by what she had done. "The concept of good and bad, of sins, of morality, that is a tool to judge the living." Kiera turned slightly, her haunted gaze landing on his face. Mera gave her a sympathetic smile. "And you, you're already judged. There's no question where you're going to go when you die for real." Mera returned his eyes to the screen, gesturing. "For them, all it means is that judgement day came early. Truly, that does not make you a bad person, Kiera." Mera's eyes turned distant. "People don't fundamentally change, Kiera. You're either good or bad. You're lifestyle, experiences, connection- all of that is reduced to zero when death comes. They do not affect your balance in the end." Mera wasn't surprised by Kiera's silence. But, in the end, he will still stand by her.

"Mera." Kiera's voice was croaky, sore from pushing down tears. She sounded defeated, eyes downcast. She sounded like she had given up. "Am I broken?" Her voice cracked. "Did choosing this path break me?" Her voice was filled with such emotional anguish, such pain, that Mera could feel a throbbing ache low in the pit of his stomach. "No. Not at all." Mera could remember when he first felt regret at what he had chosen. Only, when he broke down, there was no-one to be there for him. Being here, with Kiera now, only resolved his intent to watch over her. "Kiera, there's something I should say." Kiera turned to him now, attentive. "When you signed that contract, there was something omitted that I could not say. Kiera pulled into herself. She had suspected as such. "When you...." Mera sighed deeply and started again. "When you signed that contract, you signed your soul to Ramatee. Although your consciousness won't be given to him until after death, you are still his property. We are all his property." Mera checked Kiera was still listening, her wide eyes absorbing his every word. "In a sense, he can do what he wants to you, your soul. He can alter your feelings, your emotions. What you experienced there-" Mera gestured to the T.V.- "Was him giving you a push." Kiera wiped her face with her sleeve, sniffling. "You mean, all my emotions are now fabricated?" Surprisingly, Kiera didn't sound horrified, or disturbed. She sounded accepting.
"Well, not exactly. Murderous intent though? Most of that can be denoted to Ramatee." Mera's eyes flash. "But I say most Kiera. Your actions are without consequence now." Kiera returned a small smile. "He also has limits. That's why I'm here." Mera retracted his hand from Kiera's back, forgetting he even had it there. "Now come on." Standing up, he extended a hand towards Kiera. Kiera looked at the hand, then towards Mera's face.

It was open and warm, and Kiera felt a flutter of hope in her chest. Bringing her to her feet, he unexpectedly pulled her into a hug. Being so tall, Kiera's face only came to his chest. At first, she was so startled that she didn't react. But, after she realised that Mera's somewhat thin arms around her were meant to be an embrace, she quickly wrapped her arms around him. Before long, Kiera began openly sobbing into his chest, a torrent of emotions bursting out. She hugged him closer. It felt so good to have someone who knew what was going on. Someone to stand by her. Kiera wept long and hard, heaving ugly sobs. A small part of her cringed at Mera seeing her like this.

Mera however, held her close, rubbing her back comfortingly.
"It's going to be okay."