Damaged

Chpt7

"Promise! Promise! Promise! Good morning. Maria screamed opening up my eyelids. Wake up I'm hungry". She whined. Wiping the crust out of my eyes, I rolled over tossing the cover over my face. "Maria ugghh tell granny to make you a sandwich". I said exhaustedly. "No I want you to do it and I don't want a sandwich. I want bacon and orange juice". She yelled out loud enough to awake Surrender. "You need to brush your teeth. Your breath stinks". Tyanna called out bluntly. Before Maria could respond I forced my way into what was about to be an argument. "Hey guys relax that wasn't nice at all. Tyanna apologize now". I demanded pointing my finger with a serious face. Rolling her eyes with a neck roll Tyanna responded "sorry but it's the truth". "What did I just say Ty? Did you brush your teeth this morning. Doesn't look like it to me because you haven't even got out of bed yet. Now cut it out and stop being mean"! I said looking her directly in her eyes notifying her I was serious. On the other hand, Maria was never the one to let anything go. She's the baby amongst us all and the most sensitive one too. Has I not stepped in this argument would've still been taking place. Between Maria and Surrender they're the most aggressive out of all of us. Rashaad is more laid back. Normally, he would've ignored us or laugh at us arguing. I sure do miss him. Things haven't been the same without him. Him and I were very close. The rest of my sisters would get on his nerves most of the time at moms house. "Good morning ladies breakfast is on the table. Go wash your hands". My grandma called out. Everyone jumped up and raced to the restroom nearly knocking each other over. Once we were all at the table my grandma asked me to lead the prayer. Whenever I'm alone I can pray just fine. I feel like I'm more comfortable and understood. I have what I consider a personal relationship with God. He will keep my secrets and my feelings to himself and I will not be judged. All of my problems are also kept confidential. Maybe the only I honestly trust at this time. Something like my personal diary.

This evening me and my siblings are possibly going to call mom. Grandma said she it was okay for us to call her once she's back from the grocery store. A part of me was happy and the other half was unsure if she'll answer. I knew not to get my hopes up. Seems to me anytime we have any visits or phone calls were disappointed in the end. My sisters are to young to understand so I have to bottle my honest feelings up to keep a smile on their faces and keep their mind off of it. I was kind of hoping granny would forget, maybe that'll keep our day from being ruined. "Surrender do you guys want to play a game?" I asked. "I do" screamed Maria and Tyanna at the same time leaving Surrender no other choice. "Okay well form a circle. I instructed. One person has to get in the middle and walk around us until you decides who you want to stop in front of. Then you'll start dancing and swap out with that person. While you're doing that we'll sing the song. I'll teach it to you guys". I said.
Night came way to fast. Today was fun we played games, we laughed. Watched movies and watched Maria and Tyanna argue all day. Wasn't so bad though, besides the bickering. To say the least, we even helped granny bake a cake which turned out to be very delicious. Moments after saying our prayers, everyone except me was sound asleep. I turned over so I can get a good glimpse of them all. A huge smile covered my face when I seen how peaceful they all looked while sleeping. Instantly all the emotions I tried to hide came poured down on me. I took a deep breath and rolled out of bed. Granny room was right across the hall from mine. I turned her door knobbed and peeped my head through the door. Seeing me opening her door she pulled back the covers signaling for me to join. "What wrong baby" she asked looking concerned. "I miss mom I said breaking down. I cried out just allowing the tears to come out this time. She hasn't called us or checked on us. She doesn't love us anymore. Grandma I want to go home!" I hollered out. "Baby girl I know but right now you can't. She will come for you guys sooner than you think. Wipe your eyes and put a smile on your face. Your mom loves all of you. She just has to get some things in order right now first. If she's not all the way together then how can you expect her to take good care of you ladies? You are all beautiful ladies and your brother is just as handsome. You all deserves the best. And mom is quite not all the way together just yet. Just give her some time to get it right. You're to beautiful to be crying and worrying yourself. Look at me. She said lifting my head up with her index finger. Don't worry about your mom. She's fine and everything is going to be just fine. Grandma promise. Anytime you feel low or feel sad. Go in a empty area and get on your knees and pray. Talk to God baby. Give all of your problems to God. You know you can always come talk to me and dad and you have your aunties as well. She was referring to her two daughters. One name was Mia and the other one Kylie. Aunt Kylie is very strict. She's the oldest and the meanest. Aunt Mia is the third to the last child. She's the aunt everyone enjoys. The aunt that allows you to do whatever you want. Now go to bed and wipe your face granny loves you". She said sincerely kissing my cheek.