Dear Journal

August 16 2017

 Dear Journal

                             August 16 2017

My life sucks. I mean my life is just messed up my step dad hates me.  In my house it's all about him not about the kids in the house me and my sister don't really matter in the mind of Anthony (my step dad) and I don't know about how Hailey (my sister) feels.  I think she can get through it better but I can't I just can't do it he just kills me inside.  Even the little things make me so upset. I do have friends I know I do I have lots at school and 1 that doesn't go to my school.   She doesn't like Anthony either though I really don't think anyone does.   I mean he's a jerk to everyone. Well maybe except for the boys in my family like my grandpa and uncle.  Well I mean he doesn't like a lot of people you probably get it and he always texts this girl named Alexis.  He used to work with her but he doesn't anymore and he claims that he doesn't even see her but we all know that's a lie. So I think that there is a lot wrong with this jerkwad I mean you probably think I'm being rude and even if I am being rude I am nothing compared to him. I just don't know how to cope sometimes. I like to think that it will always be okay but I'm just not so sure that it will be better ever. Honestly I don't even know why I'm writing this. It's not like it will get better just because I'm writing this. It's not like Anthony actually cares or probably even knows I'm writing this. Unless he finds it he'd probably just tell my mom he does that he just tattles on me A LOT! I just don't get why he hates me. Maybe I get in the way of his relationship with my mom. I don't know how I stop myself from punching him in the face all the time I mean he really is just the worst if you met him you would understand. Anthony has 2 kids and they both want nothing to do with him is that a clue? Maybe something happened between them. Maybe he thinks that my sister and I are his second chance. I know that people say you can only have one best friend but I have many and they all make me feel better all the time. My friend Tiffany goes to a different school but when we hang out we talk about Anthony... Sometimes not all the time. I really don't think any of my friends like him and maybe Anthony could be likeable if he would stop being a JERK! That's all he has to do STOP BEING A JERK. If he would stop being a jerk it might take a while but I would like and trust him again. Anthony was a really nice guy but that's before him and my mom got married. I was excited for them to get married it was all good but after a ehile it just started to get bad. I think everyone used to like him but now I just think everyone's tired of him. Man I just realized that if Anthony read this he would be steamed at me. Well I guess I will just have to hide this journal somewhere. I have just needed something or someone to just pour out everything I mean sometimes life just SUCKS! Just the other day I was on the couch after school and he came home from work and said "Can we watch anything else" So I said "Sure" gonna be honest I was mad. But I left I turned off the tv and left and then he yelled at me for turning off the tv I mean make up your mind. I just don't know why he thinks he can treat me like that. I mean I know for a fact he wouldn't treat my mom like that. So why can he treat me like that? He just acts like he's higher than everyone else. I know that was just something small but it made me mad. Really bad actually. UGH I am going to become a depressed person that is not okay. I don't want to be depressed. Everyone just says it's okay you're the bigger person well sometimes I just don't want to be.                                                                                                                                                                                                  Bye journal or however I should end this thing.                                                                                              Ellie