The stars

Chapter 3

Since then nothing has been the same. My parents haven't looked at me in the same way since. It's hard to hold a basic conversation, I guess they blame me, I don't blame them. It's my fault after all.

They're also always in the hospital visiting Tommy, not that I mind because I'm constantly visiting him when they're not there . The smell of the hospital has become usual and homely to me.

I walk down the hospital ward, my shoes skidding and sliding again the squeaky floor. My backpack hung loosely off my shoulder. This was usual for me and to regular visitors. I swerve around the corner seeing the usuals. Ken, who comes in for his heart checkups and medications regularly, he always complains about the noise of my worn out shoes against the tiles. Margaret, she was a kind old lady who had cancer and chatted to me on a daily basis about Tommy, she was perched in the corner on the uncomfortable plastic seats reading a magazine she had probably read multiple times waiting for chemo.

This time was a new figure with their arms crossed almost tucked into themselves wearing a dark hoodie similar to my own. Their face was covered and it was hard to tell the gender with the baggy, dark clothes. I just carried on my journey to my brothers room. New people come and leave all the time.

I don't need to look at the wards numbers. I've been going here for years. No matter how many times I knock on the door fear always strikes into me. Whether it's because I'm scared Tommy's condition has got worse, my parents are there or if Tommy has a new found rage at me because of what happened. I can hear a faint "come in." So I turn the door handle with my sweaty palm. Here goes nothing.