Silent (Ziall)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Someone new

Day 468

Dear diary,

I guess Zayn and I are friends now, maybe even best friends. It's nice to know that I have someone to talk to and tell everything I'm feeling to. Zayn is great, he's absolutely amazing. He's caring and a great listener and I'm so glad he decided not to leave me.

On the other hand though, I'm scared. I'm scared he's going to get hurt like all the other people I ever cared about. What if the same thing happens to him which happened to them. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. It's bad enough that the police didn't believe me. How couldn't they believe that I was the murderer, I went there and told them myself, I confessed everything and yet they just laughed at me and told me it wasn't my fault.

What if I kill Zayn. What if he never lives to get married and have cute little babies running around his dream house with the lucky man or woman by his side. I don't think I can live with anymore guilt on my shoulders. I'm already guilty for two deaths, I pray to whoever is listening to me, that there won't be a third.

Talk Tomorrow, Bye.

I sighed feeling the tears slowly fall from my eyes. It wasn't fair. I didn't mean to kill them, I could of saved them but I didn't. I quickly wiped the tears away, getting up from the desk chair and walking over to my wardrobe pulling on some black skinny jeans and a black hoodie. 

After I got dressed I slowly walked downstairs and then out of the door, making sure to lock it behind me and I started to walk down the street towards a cafe where Zayn and the boys were waiting to meet me. I finally got to the cafe and I opened the door, the smell of coffee filled the air as I stepped in.

I looked around and saw the boys and once Liam saw me he smiled, motioning me over. I walked over to them but quickly noticed a new face in the group. I furrowed my eyebrows together as I sat next to Zayn and he bumped his shoulder with mine.

"You alright Ni?" He asked, smiling. I just nodded, not answering as I kept my eyes locked with the new persons. "Niall? Did anything happen?" He whispered down my ear making me jump. I looked at him and shook my head, no. "Talk baby. Don't take steps back." He pleaded staring into my eyes.

I glanced back at the new kid and I then looked at Liam who seemed to realize what was bothering me. He smiled a bit and I turned to look at Liam fully now.

"Zayn, he's uncomfortable with Josh being new and all. Right Niall?" Liam asked and my cheeks burned red as I slowly nodded, looking down at the table, somewhat ashamed with myself.

"Ah Ni. It's ok, Josh is a great guy. He's Liams best friend from Wolverhampton." Harry explained and I looked up again, staring into the boys brown eyes.

"Hi there Niall." He smiled warmly, extending his arm over the table. I glanced at Zayn who nodded at me and I brought my hand up, grasping Josh's and giving it a firm shake.

"Nialler is just shy at first. He'll warm up to you." Louis said and Josh just smiled.

"That's ok. I understand." 

I sat there in total silence, listening to all the boys talk and laugh. I just drank my coke and moved the straw around in the glass watching the liquid swirl in the middle. Zayn had gotten much closer to me from the time I came to the cafe. I think he's worried about me not talking.

He knows that until now I would of made a joke which would have all the boys laughing hysterically. Or I would of mentioned how crap Harry is at football and how he missed he easiest goal in the history of easy goals. Or I would of stated my opinion when Liam started talking about the school and the new system they are working on.

Suddenly he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I looked up at him, staring into his eyes. He smiled at me and leaned closer.

"Are you ok? You're really quiet today. We started to get used to loud Niall." He whispered down my ear sending shivers down my spine. He pulled back so he could see my reaction and now it was my turn to whisper back.

"I'm fine, just worried about talking." Zayn furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Why?" He asked. I sighed leaning towards his ear again.

"What if he doesn't like my accent or thinks my voice is annoying. Or what if he doesn't think the things I have to say are interesting and he gets bored of me and wants to leave?" I panicked.

"Wow, calm down Nialler babe." Zayn said rushed as he combed his fingers through my hair. "That won't happen ok?" He assured.

"Is everything ok?" Liam asked worried, looking at me, then Zayn and back at me again. Zayn nudged me and I let out a shaky breath.

"Yeah Li." I said, my voice coming out in a slight whisper.

"So you are the Irish man I heard so much about. It's nice to finally meet you." Josh smiled happily.

I couldn't help but smile as I nodded. "You too Josh." I said.

"Do you play football?" He asked and I grinned.

"Yeah but you don't want Harry on your team, he's crap..." I began, telling him the story about Harry missing the goal.

That was all I needed to start talking and joining in. Josh was a great guy, he was interesting and he laughed at all the funny stories I had to say and the boys had to say and after I stopped being an awkward little shit, we had an excellent time.

It was time to go, so we all got up and headed out of the cafe. We all started to hug each other and I had got round to Josh. He smiled at me as he stood there awkwardly not knowing if he should hug me or not. I grinned pulling him in for a hug.

"I hope we can hang out soon Josh." I beamed and he hugged me back.

"Yeah me too Niall. Had a great time today with all of you."

"Me too." I smiled.

Zayn and I waved good bye to everyone as they drove down the street and I sighed happily. I turned around to see Zayn staring down at me with a smile playing on his lips.

"What?" I asked and he chuckled, throwing his arm around me.

"I'm so proud of you Nialler." He cheered, kissing the top of my head since he was a few inches taller than me.

"You are? Why?" I asked him and he shook his head amused.

"You didn't want to talk at first because Josh was new but you soon opened up and now look, you've made a new friend." He smirked and that made me smile.

"A new friend." I repeated. Zayn nodded beside me and I grinned happily.

"I stand corrected, you are cute. Want a ride home?" He asked. After I failed to hide my blush from him I nodded and he smiled.

We climbed into the car and started the drive home. I stared out of the window for a bit, thoughts driving me almost insane. I looked over at Zayn and cleared my throat.

"Zayn..." I trailed off and he hummed, letting me know he was listening and to continue.

"I think I'm going to talk to my mum when she comes tomorrow morning from work." I said watching him to see his reaction.

He parked outside of my house and he turned to me with a huge smile.

"That's great Nialler! She's going to be thrilled." He beamed and I twiddled my thumbs.

"She will, but do you think you can stay the night and be with me tomorrow?" I hesitated to ask and his smile didn't fade.

"Of course babe, whatever you want. I guess we're going to my house then quick to grab some stuff because let's face it, none of your clothes will fit me." He smirked.

"Are you calling me short?" I faked gasped.

"No. I'm calling you a leprechaun." He chuckled and we both started to laugh.

Zayn makes me so happy. He makes me feel like I can do anything, like I face all my fears and come out of my shell. With him by my side I can conquer the world.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait for the chapter. I didn't really know what to write for this chapter but I'm back on track and have some ideas for the next chapters.