Marvel One Shots

"Poison the Senator"

     Senator William Husting jolted awake with surprising vigor for an old man as he felt the prick of a needle on his skin. Two figures slowly came into focus, a tall, blond man that he had never seen before and the red-haired woman that he had seen at the party. The man was taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, uncomfortable in his suit. The woman was putting up an empty syringe alongside one that was clearly labeled 'antidote'. What was her name?

"Natasha, should you break the news or do I get to do it?" The man asked cheerfully.

That was it! The woman's name must be Natasha. But he could have sworn it was something else. Nadia? Naomi? Or was it Natalie? Well, it didn't matter now at any rate.

The woman, Natasha, shrugged nonchalantly. "You can do it, Barton. It's not like you telling him is going to change the outcome."

Senator Husting attempted to reach and push his glasses up, but found him hands bound tightly behind him. That helped bring him to the realization that he was being held captive, and he should probably be listening to whatever his captors had to say.

"Tell me what? What's going on here? Why are you doing this to me?!" He demanded anxiously, sweat starting to prick out on his forehead.

The man, now identified as 'Barton', sat in the chair across from the Senator calmly. "Well, Will, I'm afraid my report isn't too good. Would you like the good news, or the bad news first?"

William looked around in an erratic manner, eyes sliding from the girl to the man. "Good news first?"

"The good news!" Barton smiled widely, looking ecstatic. "The good news is, brother, is that you don't have to feel guilty about all of those funds that you took from your re-election campaign. Or about the man that you fired because he tried to figure out what happened to the money."

Senator Husting was bewildered. "You know about that? How?"

Natasha broke in with a chuckle. "Senator, please, you weren't that discrete."

Barton shook his head, looking up at Natasha. "No one can pull off a good con anymore. It's almost a shame. You know, back in '96 I saw this really spectacularly pulled off Ponzi scheme-"

Senator Husting interrupted before the man could go off on a tangent. He seemed like the kind of person that would do that. It was unnerving how calm the duo was. "Wait, hold up! What is the bad news?"

Natasha looked down at her hands, studying her nails nonchalantly. "Oh, about that. You're going to die."

"Yeah!" Clint smiled almost manically at Senator Husting. "You remember that needle? The one Tasha here put into your neck as you were waking up. Yeah, that was poison. You'll be experiencing some aches and pains in the next few minutes. Loss of smell, headache, fatigue, irritation of the throat, chest discomfort... I'd say you have about 30 minutes to live."

Natasha tapped on his shoulder and showed him her watch. Clint cleared his throat. "Correction, 26 minutes to live."

"Why are you doing this to me! I'm too young to die! Please!" Senator Husting pleaded desperately as Barton stood and walked out of the room with Natasha.

The door closed behind them, but they could still hear the Senator yelling from the inside.

"Do you think we sold the 'I'm a heartless assassin and I crush the souls of children while smiling' bit?" Clint asked curiously, leaning against the wall.

"I guess so." Natasha answered thoughtfully. "It's too bad Fury wouldn't let me bring my knives. I wouldn't have used them, but they really help sell the part...."

"I think he bought it, even without the knives. That whole 'I'm too young to die' bit was hilarious. He's like, seventy." Clint snorted a little bit thinking about it.

The pair lapsed into silence while Natasha kept an eye on her watch. The injection took about eight minutes to really kick into action, so they waited outside in the hall for ten. Clint pushed off of the wall as soon as Natasha's hand fell back to her side. "Is it time to go back in?"

Natasha nodded. "Yes. Do you think he knows that I only injected him with a concentrated dose of the common cold?"

Clint shrugged. "You would think he would have caught it when I listed the symptoms, but you know these senator types." He opened the door as he finished his sentence, walking in after Natasha. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Senator Husting. "Well, aren't you quite the sight?"

Senator Husting was a sight, just not a pretty one. He was drenched in sweat, thrashing at his bonds. "Thank God you came back! Please, I'll give you anything. Anything you want! Just give me the antidote."

"Anything we want! Of my, what a novel idea." Natasha proclaimed sarcastically, placing her hand on her heart.

"Really! You can take anything that I own. Just please, please give me the antidote. I saw it, I know that you have one."

"Anything we want?" Clint asked.

"Yes!" Senator Husting exclaimed despairingly.

"Okay, we want the passwords and accounts numbers to all of your bank accounts. Natasha here has a notepad and pen, so you can just dictate it. Isn't that easy?"

The senator's eyes bulged out of his head. "Yes?" He said nervously, not sure if he should agree on not with Barton, who had fixed him with an almost predatory stare.

Five minutes later, Natasha's notepad snapped shut. "Okay, we're good. Let's get out of here, Barton."

Clint clapped once, standing up. "Sound's wonderful. Say, I wonder how much money we are reclaiming today?"

Natasha shrugged happily. "Eh, I don't care."

The pair started walking out the doors, but stopped in their tracks at Senator Husting's desperate call. "Hey! Wait! Don't forget about the antidote! I still need the antidote!"

Clint looked over his shoulder, manic smile gone. "Actually, we might have exaggerated about that whole 'dying in 30 minutes' thing. My partner here injected you with a concentrated form of the common cold, so you'll be good as new in about a week."

Senator Husting gaped at Natasha and Clint in disbelief. "Wait...wait..." He seemed incapable of saying anything else.

Clint waved happily, pressing a button on a remote that Natasha had handed him. The senator heard the handcuffs on his arms and legs click as they unlocked. With a wink, Clint closed the door behind him after some parting words. "Good day, Senator!"