Great Big White World

Chapter 7 - This Is The New Shit

Chapter 7 - This Is The New Shit

{2004}

Lily POV

It was a typical Tuesday night. Absinthe, lines, take-out and bad television...not that I took part. It was just something that Marilyn and the band did. Kind of like a boys night...but it changed Marilyn, and not in a good way. So I’d stay out of their way, staying up until they either fell asleep or left. Tonight, however, my dear brother Jeordie...Twiggy, had decided I should be brought into the fun.

“Lily!” He grinned as he bounded into the kitchen where I was sitting, reading a random book he’d given me last year.

“Hey Jeordie, what’s up?” I asked half-heartedly as he sat on the kitchen counter beside me.

“Why are you being all antisocial in here?” He smirked. “Come have some fun, let your hair down a little.” his smile faded ever so slightly. “Where’s the baby sister who had fun all the time no matter what?”

“She grew up, Jeordie.” I sighed then winked up at him. “I’m still her… just super tired is all, mate.” I turned back to my book. “I’ll be here if you really need me.”

“No, c’mon!” Jeordie smacked the book out of my hands and hoisted me over his shoulder. “You’re coming to have fun with us!” He laughed as he carried a kicking and screaming me out into the living room. “Here she is Marilyn.” Jeordie laughed as he dumped me in Marilyn’s lap.

“Hi…” I murmured as I looked up at Marilyn nervously from my place in his lap.

“Hey gorgeous.” he smirked and kissed my forehead. “Decided to join the cool kids after all, huh?”

“More like ‘Spooky Kids’.” I smirked. “I was forcibly removed from where I wanted to be...and I’d like to go back, please.”

“Not til you have a drink with us first.” Jeordie demanded, handing me a shot glass as the others laughed in agreement. “C’mon,” he winked at me. “Live a little.”

“Fine, just to shut you up.” I grumbled but smiled. “One drink…”

“Well...one shot and one drink.” Jeordie shrugged.

“Fine…” I rolled my eyes and then downed the shot he’d handed me, earning me a round of applause from the others.

“That’s my girl.” Marilyn smiled and kissed me deeply...I could taste the absinthe on his lips…

I smiled shyly and then eyed the drink Jeordie poured me. “What’s that out of curiosity?” I asked sceptically.

“Vodka and tonic.” He smiled as he placed it on the coffee table where I’d be able to reach. “Drink up!”

***

I held my head as the room spun. I felt sick.

"Marilyn…” I moaned as I fell to my knees. I’d attempted to go lie down, but my body wasn’t cooperating so-to-speak.

“She doesn’t look so good.” I heard Pogo say in my defense.

“She’ll be fine.” I heard Jeordie and Marilyn say at once and then laugh at each other.

“No...I don’t think I will…” I mumbled, unsure of whether they’d heard me.

I felt someone help me to my feet and guide me back into the kitchen. I looked up at Pogo and smiled...at least someone was looking out for me. I frowned as he walked around the counter and filled a glass with water. As he handed it to me and ordered me to drink it I wondered out loud why Marilyn wouldn’t take care of me.

“He’s had too much of...well… everything tonight...he’ll be his uncanny, caring self in the morning…” Pogo smirked then. “As well as hungover.”

“Well, someone can’t hold her liquor!” I heard Marilyn shout as he entered the kitchen. “You silly thing, you’ll be fine! Like we’d let anything truly bad happen to you, darlin’!” he turned back towards the door. “Right guys?” his question was met with affirmative shouts from everyone. He looked back at me. “See?”

“But she’s not alright, Marilyn.” Pogo said firmly. “She can barely walk… I’m surprise she hasn’t had to empty her stomach yet from everything she’d had to drink tonight!”

“The fuck do you know man?!” Marilyn glowered at his keyboardist.

“A fuckload more than you it seems.” I said quietly...but apparently Marilyn heard me.

“What was that?” he asked, tone disapproving as he tilted my head back to look at me properly. “Say that a little louder, dearest.”

I turned my head and pressed my lips against his palm, sighing softly. “Nothing, love.”

“No, say it again.” he demanded more firmly.

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “I said he knows more than you coz he had the sense to pick me up off the floor and bring my drunk ass in here away from you guys.”

“I’m gonna go out now…” Pogo said awkwardly as he walked out of the kitchen.

“what’s the matter baby?” Marilyn narrowed his eyes at me slightly. “Don’t you like this side of me anymore?”

“I never liked this side of you.” I snapped and then covered my mouth, mortified I’d said that.

“Well,” Marilyn glared at me. “This is the new shit, baby.” he smirked, “Get fucking used to it.”

“You’re so horrible to me sometimes!” I sniffled, holding back tears.

“And yet you’re still here.” Marilyn replied sharply.

“Wow, guys...calm down.” Jeordie appeared in the doorway, high as a fucking kite! “You two love each other, there’s no need for that.”

“Get out!” I shouted at my brother and he scurried off. Shakily, I slipped off my seat and took two steps towards Marilyn. “Fuck you!” I cried and smacked him across the face.

He turned his head back in my direction, eyes narrowed as he smiled sadistically. “You already did.”

As tear spilled down my cheek I turned and walked away, grabbing my keys and purse as I headed towards the front door. As I got to the door I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and I wrench it out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me!” I screamed at him, crying. “I fucking loved you! I still do! Does that mean nothing to you?!” he just looked at me blankly.

“You’re leaving…” he said, and I knew it wasn’t a question.

“Yes.” I wiped away the tears on my cheeks just as new ones fell. “I’m leaving you.”

I turned to go again, my hand on the doorknob. “Please don’t leave me…” I turned to look at him...now he was crying. “Not like this...please!”

“You’ve hurt me too badly this time I don’t think I have a choice.” I replied bluntly, my tone crueler than I’d meant it to be. I turned and opened the door, continuing with a shaky breath. “I’ll get my stuff when you’re out and leave the keys for you.” I stepped outside and slammed the door shut behind me.

As I clambered into my car and drove off, I muttered quietly to myself as I continued to cry. “Goodbye, Marilyn...goodbye…”

***

Marilyn POV

I cried myself to sleep that night...and every night since. She was gone...and it was all my fault. A tiny meow made me jump slightly and I looked around the room. Under our...my bed...was a tiny, white kitten.

“Where did you come from?” I asked the little white kitten as I lifted her up into my lap and pet her gently. As she started to purr, I smiled sadly. “I don’t care where you came from...but I’m keeping you…” I looked out the window as the only name I cared about came back into my head. “You’re mine now...Lily White…”

___________________________________________

And thus the irony is fully formed. Lily White, Jeordie's little sister, and Lily White, Manson's cat.

Anywho, hope you enjoyed!