Samsara

Part I

As a medic, Sakura is probably more prepared for the various symptoms of pregnancy than the average woman. She's studied the theory, administered pre- and postnatal care, and has delivered more than a few babies; at first it was only under the watchful eye of her mentor, but since she and Sasuke have been travelling to more remote villages, it's an occupational hazard.

So, her own first trimester is about what she expects – it's actually easier.

Morning sickness isn't as bad as she worried it would be – in fact, it's not so much morning sickness as random-moments-in-the-day sickness. Even then, it's more gentle queasiness than anything else. There are only two mornings she spends with her face buried in a nearby bush, while Sasuke holds back her hair.

There are a few of her favorite foods that she can't even think about without feeling nauseous. Still others cause her bizarre, desperate cravings she's never experienced before (tomatoes! She can't get enough tomatoes!). She also has to pee a lot more often which Sasuke is equal parts amused and irritated by depending on how much it delays their travel plans. And, good gods, she thought she was done getting pimples!

But what she wasn't expecting were the dreams.

From her studies and conversations with other expectant mothers, she anticipated the nonsensical, the silly, or even the highly sexual. What she ends up experiencing within days of confirming her condition is bleak, eerie, and a little depressing.

In the beginning, her dreams have a reoccurring theme. Whenever she closes her eyes, she finds herself walking along a beach. The tide is always out, leaving a vast, barren expanse of sand with shallow pools of water. The sky is always grey and foreboding, bracketed by cliffs in the distance. The detail in this place is staggering, despite the fact she's never spent much time on this seashore. Or any seashore, really.

Konoha is landlocked, and even her experiences during the war didn't give her much time to enjoy the coastline. Travelling with Sasuke, they've occasionally been to places like Kumo where beaches are more common, but never with express recreational purpose.

Despite this, the barren shore of her dreams feels as familiar and beloved to her as the forests and valleys of the Leaf Village. For whatever reason, she experiences a sense of utter safety during her dreamlike wanderings, which leaves her disconcerted and confused upon waking.

The pattern continues over several nights without change, until their return journey from Tsuki. That night, they have no choice but to bed down in a forest cave to avoid an incoming storm.

Since she told Sasuke of her pregnancy, he isn't as keen on sleeping outside. Sakura's assured him that, at this point, it really doesn't matter where they stop to rest, but he's been adamant. It's only when there's absolutely no other option that they sleep outside.

(She's trying not to find his overprotectiveness endearing, but she'd be lying if she didn't say she's been waiting her entire life for this.)

Despite the security of their defensive wards, Sasuke insists on taking the first watch – which they both know means he doesn't actually intend to close his eyes that night – and Sakura is too tired to argue. She expects this to lead to utterly dreamless sleep, and yet with almost no transition, she is back on the dream beach.

Only there is something different this time.

眠り

A dark form appears on the sand dunes of the horizon. She can't make out exactly what the shape is, but as she gets closer, she realises it's a human being.

"Hey!" she calls. "Are you all right?"

She begins to run, struggling through the unstable, damp sand, automatically reaching for her medical kit – only to discover it's not there. She doesn't let this deter her, however, and after what seems like forever, she skids to a stop in front of the person.