"Stop"
The words from my book make me cringe whenever I look at it.
The past I had done can't be erase from my mind my mental disability won't define me.
"Now wait, Where are you going?"
My pill popping mom asked me, I'm surprised she woke up, because she slept all night. One thing I hate about my mom, is that she always asking me why don't I drop out of school.
" I'm going to school mom, Why do you want to know? I mean, I get up every morning for school and you always asking me where I'm going like I go out and do bad shit. I'm a good girl, but It don't matter to you."
After I said that, she just light up a cigarette and turn the TV on. I just walked out the door like I didn't even care. Why does she always toon me out for? It's like she don't even care about me. It's been hard since my dad died, mother been on a downward spiral after that. It's sad because I just want her to be a woman about her shit and it makes me mad.
On my way to school, I heard someone called my name. I looked around to see who it was, my bestfriend Emily comes running up to me.
"Hey, Girl what's up? Did you hear Josh is having a baby?" She asked me.
I was shock because Emma knew I liked Josh, " What?! How do you know? Who told you that?" I said.
She looked down like she promised not to tell anyone, " I heard it from Tamie, who heard it from Jane, who heard it from Lisa, who heard it from Josh's sister." She looked up at me, " Please Don't Tell Anyone!? Please?"
I looked at her, Why would she said that? I mean Don't she realized that the guy I liked is having a baby with a girl who hates me? This day just got worst by the min. I shrug my shoulders as if I was agreeing with her, as we walked to our last class, I knew I didn't want to go to my last class. I couldn't be happier about that, all I could think about was being at home without all the drama of my mom or that damn brielle. She can make me so damn mad, its all because I took her boyfriend in elementary school. Which is not true, she always hated me since then. I just sat there looking at the clock tick tock on by, minute by minute; I just wish my life would at least fast forward or just not be so slow.
As the finial minutes go by, I felt a great big happy smile coming on its weird because I don't usually smile a lot, maybe have something to do with my sad horrible life. Once the bell rings, it was time to go home; I ran out the classroom right before Brielle could even say anything else mean to me. I felt great that I was out of school for the weekend, I needed some time away from this hell hole of a school.
That evening I sat in my room thinking about what to do, maybe just maybe Brielle is faking her pregnancy, I mean what if that was true? Then she would be the laughing stalk in the school. I often think about that, I think about a lot of things, like how I want Josh, how that bitch don't like me, or maybe what can I do?
This weekend was supposed to be fun, but I guess that have to wait because my mom asked me to clean up the house. Like wtf? Why do I have to clean up? She don't do shit, just eat and sleep. All the time, I mean it's hard for me to be ' a cool person' in school when you have someone who don't care about you. I just wished I was somewhere else like in the books I read. Its like then people in those books seem to be so happy, I wished I could be that happy, but I guess I won't. After I clean up the house, I went to my room; it's my favorite place to be. As I laid down, I thought about what could happened if the man down stairs when I was younger?
That was so crazy to think about that I almost choke. It was CRAZY!!! What was I thinking? How can I let myself think about that, just eww. I quickly changes the subject before I get to crying I hate that so much. Like why should I let my life slip away. I know I could be bi, if I am then I can't wait to let the world know. After all I know is my life has just started. When I got to school it felt like a new world just happened to me because of what my mom did to me, and I just saw Josh walking down the hallway. He looked so cute today it just melted my heart the only thing I wish is that he would see me for who I am and not a nerd or a non cool girl like Brielle, and I'm sure he likes them kind of girls which I'm okay with that. First class is always the hardest, even for me. I was so tired this morning that I couldn't keep up.
And that was the start of high school......
