To Love or Be Loved

04| she speaks

"A mighty pain to love it is. And 'tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all pains, the greatest pain it is to love, but love in vain."- Abraham Cowley.

I wasn't sure how long Micah has spent holding me, trying his hardest to calm me down. It wasn't until most of the people attending the gala had left that I finally pulled away. His shirt was still wet from a mix of my tears and that damn champagne.

He held my hand as we made our way back into the main room, his grip tightening the closer and closer we made it to the door as if he was afraid I'd break down again if he let go. But I couldn't shed another tear if I tried. I was too tired to.

My parents met us at the door; their previous smiles replaced with worried expressions. I was sure then that my makeup was smeared terribly and that I looked ragged. A pang of guilt shot through my heart. I ruined their night, and I felt awful for it.

Just as we were about to make it out of the door, a voice shouted my name. I glanced over my shoulder to see Carter James running up to me, a lopsided grin on his face. I waited patiently for him to tell me what could have caused him to charge at me like a bull fresh out of the gates. He bent over, put his hands on his knees, and looked up at me with that same damn smile. "For a football player you'd think I wouldn't be so winded."

I nodded slowly, remembering a time when he really couldn't have been bothered to move two inches let alone run across a large room after a girl. He ran his fingers through his neatly styled hair, and his smile dimmed a little. He reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket, pulled out something, and thrust it towards me. In his hand was one of my paint brushes that had fallen out around his feet two days previously.

I had thrown a fit over a paint brush.

Carter gave me an expectant look, reminding me to take the brush from his hands. I flashed him a small smile, one that I hoped showed that I was thankful that he had returned it to me, despite the fact I had about four other ones just like this one sitting in a drawer in my room.

"You're welcome," he said, his lips lifting up to match my own. I noticed then that he had a small scar on the left side of his jaw. It had to be new because I had never seen it before. "I would've returned it to you before, but the only time I could, you and your boyfriend were having what looked like an important conversation."

Boyfriend? Did he mean Micah? I cast a look over my shoulder at Micah. He stood with his hands in his pockets, and his pale green eyes were watching the two of us. The way he looked at me right then- it was as if he was waiting for the perfect moment to come in and save me. I couldn't think of a better time, and he must have sensed it because within a matter of seconds he was by my side.

"Carter," he said, a polite smile on his face. He placed a hand on my lower back gently, a small gesture that comforted me immensely. "It's nice to see you. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh, you aren't," Carter said. "I was just telling Addison that I would have given her brush back sooner, but the one time I was free to, she was with you. Since you two are dating, I didn't want to interrupt."

Micah raised his eyebrows, casting me a surprised look. "Dating?"

Carter hummed quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets. His body looked tenser than it had previously, and I wondered what could be bothering him. Could it be that, for once, his precious Rose was not by his side? After looking at the way he chewed on his bottom lip, flicking his gaze around, I was sure of it.

"Addison and I are just friends," Micah said slowly as if talking to a child. It was strange to hear such a condescending tone fall from his lips, and I wasn't sure why it suddenly made an appearance now. "We've known each other since we were children so we're really comfortable with each other."