To Love or Be Loved

05| i think that's you

"Unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded". -Elle Newmark

It was hard not to notice the following Friday morning when Carter and Rose sat away from each other first period. I would've noticed regardless, but him occupying the seat next to mine was impossible to ignore. It felt like every cell in my body was trying to pull towards him.

I didn't ask him why he chose to sit next to me instead of next to Dylan, but instead gave him a small smile. He returned it and brought his attention back to the front of the class where the teacher was talking about things I couldn't remember if I tried. For the rest of the period, we didn't speak, but my eyes wandered over to him multiple times. Sadly, he never once looked over at me.

He walked with me to our lockers, mumbling about how the homework that was assigned was unnecessary. I tried not to over think the fact he was interacting with me more than usual, but I couldn't help myself. He wasn't making things easy on me when he showed up at the library when I was there after deciding to skip art class to study.

I looked up at him in surprise, not sure what to say. But he didn't even cast a look in my direction, instead he spread my Chemistry notes out and began writing down formulas and problems to try. I watched him for a few more moments before returning my attention to my Government notes that were placed neatly down in front of me.

For the most part we sat silently, except for the few times Carter asked me about how to use a formula or if I'd look at his answer to see if it was right. I was dying to ask him why he was following me around like we were best friends, but I held back, too afraid that if I did ask it would end as quickly as it had begun.

He even insisted on walking me to lunch, dropping me off at my table where Olivia and Micah sat discussing whether or not to get sushi after school. Poor Olivia nearly choked on her water when she noticed who I was with.

Luckily she waited until he sat down with his friends before asking, "Did I somehow fall into an alternate universe or was Carter freaking James just walking you to our table?"

"Nope," I said, mixing the dressing around my salad. "You're still in our universe and you saw correctly."

"So, what did we miss?" asked Micah, who was too busy peeling an orange to notice Olivia stealing some of his grapes.

"Well, let's see. Olivia concocted a plan for me to give Carter my Chemistry notes, Oliver stole my car, Carter and his girlfriend had a fight in the hallway which I walked in on by the way, and he drove me home. Now he's talking to me more and sitting with me in first period. And we studied together in the library. For two whole hours."

"That's strange."

"I know, but I can't say I'm complaining," I mumbled after swallowing a bite. "The strange thing is he's acting as if this whole thing is normal. Like we do this every day."

The Carter discussion ended there and they continued their previous chat about sushi, leaving me to think things over for myself. This was something I appreciated, secretly afraid they'd say something that would burst this little bubble I was starting to build around myself. A bubble where Carter James was finally noticing me.

After reminding myself numerous times that this didn't mean anything, I finished my lunch and half heartedly interjected my thoughts into their conversation that had now switched over to being about what happened on the Bachelor the night before, which I had missed.

"Addison?"

Olivia and Micah stopped speaking and looked over my shoulder at the person standing behind me who had just spoken, surprise clouding their features. I didn't have to turn around to see who it was though. His voice sent shivers down my spine, especially when he said my name.