Broken Together

Bettering Myself

"So, now what?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Dib asked.

"Well, what is the next step in starting a relationship? I'm not entirely sure I did it the right way the last time."

Dib chuckled. "That's fine. First, we should probably let our parents know we're going out. Well, my dad. You don't have parents, and I've just got the one."

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"I knew you had a thing for him, Dib." Gaz chuckled.

"You two weren't going out before?" Dib's dad asked.

"No..." Dib shrugged.

"We're fine with this, Dib. I don't know what you were expecting, my poor insane son." Mr. Membrane sighed.

This is awkward...

"So, uh, is it OK if I go hang out at Zim's place?" Dib asked.

"As long as it's OK with his parents, it's fine with me. You could even stay there overnight. Just, be safe, OK?"

We headed towards my house, my mind still muddled with confusion.

"Why was he... OK with this?" I asked Dib.

"He's super liberal. It's only natural. Just don't ever mention capitalism to him. Ever." Dib explained. "So, by any chance, do you know how to grow hair back? This is just kinda sad." Dib pointed to his lack of hair.

"Lucky for you, I happen to have a hair growing ray." I beamed. "I'm glad you've come to your senses. To be honest, I missed the old Dib."

"Yeah, I made some bad decisions. I'm keeping the ear and cartilage piercings though, if that's OK with you. They make me look cool."

I chuckled. "That's fine with me, Dib. I kinda like them too. And by the way, I'm glad to have my nemesis back. "

"So what you're saying is that you can still take over the world, and it won't affect our relationship? And it's OK if I stop you?" Dib asked eagerly.

"Yes!" I proclaimed.

"Oh, thank goodness! I was afraid to ask. Hey, you've got an internet connection in your house right?" Dib asked.

"Yesss..."

"I got some shows to show you."

Life is great...

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"You know, this show is actually pretty good. I especially love the peridot character." I sighed, head resting on Dib's shoulder.

"I knew you would." Dib chuckled, ruffling my wig sightly.

"And that Star Vs. The Forces of Evil Show? It seemed like something only GIR could like at first, but it is so complex!" I yelled. "And Gravity Falls? So beautiful. So suspenseful. So... Awesome!"

"That's only the tip of the iceberg, Zim." Dib yawned, stretching his arms. "But that's enough for tonight. I need to get some sleep."

"Good night Dib."

"Good night Zim."

I waited until Dib was asleep, then wiggled my way out of his grasp. I headed down to my lair to think. I had a lot of that to do.

Why did that stupid girl get under my skin? Why did I let it happen?

More importantly, how can I prevent this from happening again?

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I pulled out a pad of paper and wrote down everything that Sally had done to me to make me feel miserable. I needed it written on paper, somewhere where it couldn't be changed by false memories, where I couldn't forget it.

Things I won't tolerate in a partner-

-Tries to change major things about me. (Major-My personality, the clothes I wear, the things I say, the places I go, things I like. Minor-Annoying habits, things I don't like)

-Won't listen to me (Doesn't have to agree with everything I do, but there needs to be some compromise)

-Calls me names (Except pet names...)

-Manipulates me

-Hurts me intentionally​ in any way

-Makes me feel weak

-Uses intimacy, money, etc. as a bargaining tool to get what they want.

-Lies to me (Unless it's a surprise, or them trying to protect my feelings)

Should my significant other fit any of these categories, I must break up with/divorce them. No exceptions. Zim expects nothing less than perfection.

And don't expect them to change. Because they won't.

Also, don't go back with them. You know better than that. It's like the human saying- Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. You deserve far better than them.

I looked at my work. Perfect.

I quickly typed it up as a document, then printed up a copy. I put it up on the wall. There. Now Zim has an advantage, stupid human. I'll never fall for you again.

I looked at the time. Dib is probably up now. I rushed up to find Dib.

Dib was lying on the couch, a leg flopped over the arm, and an arm dangling over the front. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was wide open, a bit of spit coming out of his mouth. He was making a loud noise. Humans are such funny creatures.

I kneeled next to the couch, and licked Dib lightly on the face. Dib's eyes fluttered open.

"Ahhh!" He exclaimed, scrambling back towards the top of the couch.

"Dib! Dib! I'm not gonna hurt you!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, right. Sorry. It's gonna take me a while to get used to this. It's just habit, you know?" Dib sighed, jumping off the top of the couch.

"It's fine." I laughed.

Dib got up and stretched. "I'm gonna go make some breakfast. Want anything?"

I thought for a moment. What's those things GIR makes all the time that are actually kinda good?

Cupcakes? No, that's not usually a breakfast food.

Pancakes? I think I'm close, but that's not it.

Hmm...

Oh, yeah!

"Do you know how to make waffles? We've got a waffle making... machine... thing-y. "

"Yeah. Waffles it is, then." Dib giggled, and licked me on the cheek, grinning madly. I giggled. It did tickle when people licked you. And being in love felt nice. What I had felt before may have been love, but it wasn't true love. It was fake. Artificial love. Now I understood why the humans insisted in calling it 'true love' in their stupid fairy tales. Because love takes on many different forms in many different circumstances, but when you find your true love, the one you are destined to spend the rest of your life with, you'll be able to tell the difference.