Birth, Marriage and Death

Something Less Virginal

Poppy

"Excited?" Beth asked as we paused outside the door of the bridal salon where I had an appointment to try on wedding dresses. Both she and Ricky's mum were with me to offer advice when it came to making that all important decision and also have a nice girly day together.

It was two weeks after Christmas and so many wonderful things had happened in those two weeks. I'd spent Christmas Day itself in a complete state of bliss, gazing every few moments – it seemed – at the engagement ring firmly back in place on my finger, and being well and truly spoilt by everyone seeing as I was not only an expectant mother but a bride to be. It was kind of hard going home after our few days up in Leeds and going back to a normal life where I had to do normal things like cook dinner and do the housework.

On New Year's Eve we'd been to the hospital for my twenty week scan and after much deliberation had decided that we did want to know if the baby growing inside me was a boy or a girl. We were both overjoyed to discover that the little person we'd be greeting in another twenty weeks or so was a girl, not that we'd have been any less overjoyed had it been a boy. I was so happy that this time Ricky was there with me; I'd been to my first scan alone and had felt terribly guilty that I hadn't given him the opportunity to be there with me. At that stage though I still hadn't been anywhere near ready to contact him.

We'd also set a date for the wedding, and booked a venue. Ricky wanted us to marry before our daughter came along in May, so it was to be at the beginning of March at a small country hotel just outside Leeds. We literally now had just about two months to plan everything, including me finding a dress that could be ready in time; hence our appointment this morning.

So, was I excited? Yes, and no.

Of course I was excited to be marrying Ricky, but the prospect of wedding dress shopping was scaring me somewhat. I didn't really know what I wanted to wear – I wouldn't have known even if I hadn't been pregnant. I'd never been one of these women who'd fantasised about their perfect wedding day and dress since their teenage years and the maternity wedding dresses I'd looked at online hadn't excited me in the slightest.

"Eh, kind of." I replied in answer to Beth's question. "A bit scared actually. What if I don't find anything I like?"

"You will," Beth assured me as she pressed the buzzer next to the door, "this place is supposed to be great. Look at that one." She indicated a stunning dress in the shop window, which of course was a slim, slinky column of a dress, nothing like the garments I'd need to look at.

"It's gorgeous, but I don't think I'd fit into that now, let alone in two months love." I sighed, then fixed a smile on my face as the door was opened to admit us entry. Whatever happened today I wasn't going to be a bridezilla.

We were greeted by an immaculately dressed older lady who initially scared me slightly with her perfection but thankfully put me at my ease within a few minutes as we did the necessary introductions. She introduced herself as Rita, the salon owner, and within minutes had taken us to a private dressing room and dispatched her young assistant to bring us refreshments while we discussed what I was looking for. Those refreshments swiftly appeared in the form of glasses of champagne for Beth and Linda and a glass of sparkling elderflower for me, along with a plate of tiny, fancy looking cakes. I looked longingly at the champagne, wishing I could have a glass myself; I loved champagne and other than a thimble full in celebration the evening Ricky and I got re-engaged I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since I found out I was pregnant.

Once Rita had got an idea of the difficulties she was working with today – a pregnant bride getting married in only two months – she set about selecting dresses that she thought might be suitable, and would be available in the short timescale. Apparently it was normal to order a wedding dress up to a year in advance, not wait until two months before the wedding date, so my choices would be limited.