I am Mia

12.03.17

I'm the bigger child. I'm supposed to be a 'role model' for my sister. They say that i bully her that's why when she always has problems at school i defend her (note the sarcasm).

Life is unfair. Sometimes i wonder if it would have been easier to not exist. Or if i was a ghost. If i was a ghost i could be near the people that i love without hurting them. Life would be easier. You wouldn't have to see the disappointed look on your parents' face. You wouldn't have to lie to people to make them happy. You wouldn't have to put on a happy face and hide your feelings so that no one will ask you if something is wrong. I don't like when people see that i'm sad, and i don't like to complain about my life that's why i'm writing all my thoughts here. I have no one to talk to about my problems because i know that they will not be interested and they will feel bad for me.

I may be crazy not a normal crazy but a crazy crazy. I can't talk to strangers. I don't know what to do wit my life but i think that most teenagers are just like me. I always am afraid of embarassing myself, i take at heart what people say to me like if someone says something mean to me i'll always remember it. It will be stuck in my mind. Nobody really knows the real me i don't even know who i really am.

A friend once told me that she wishes she was like me because i'm never afraid of doing anything, i don't care what people think but i'm nothing like that. I'm afraid of myself because i'm afraid of what i will do.