Sealed and Silenced (Watty Awards 2012)

Sealed and Silenced: Chapter 7

“Adalyn. Adalyn Rose.” I said my name with perfect clarity as if I said it every day and it was normal. What the hell?

Carters round blue eyes stared at me. He didn’t believe I’d actually know my name. It was written plainly on his face.

“Your name… It’s so beautiful.” I smiled, pain erupted on my cheeks, but was ignored. It was nice to hear that my simple details were important again after spending so much time with them being useless.

“You have a pretty smile, you know.” Carter’s words made me blush. A warm feeling was spreading inside me, thawing the cool shield I had built.

“You too.” I’d forgotten how to reply to things such as that. Any thought of my throat hurting or my lips cracking was gone. All I wanted was to talk to Carter. To tell him all my secrets, to let him in on my side… of everything. I wanted to be understood, to feel needed. I still wasn’t speaking over a whisper though.

“I had a girlfriend, back in New York.” Carter said and my heart sunk, I didn’t know why. “She was killed in a car crash a year before I taken. It broke my heart.” Carter paused, remembering tough times. “I thought about her all the time, every day I was down here. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see her again and it made me… sickly. But when you came down here, I…” I raised an eyebrow.  He what?

“I knew I had found someone again. I found you.” My heart fluttered and soon started beating at an uncomfortable pace. He was deep and caring. Not to mention handsome. I smiled again.

“I’ve have not been… ah… liked in long time.” Did I even make sense? I felt ridiculous.

“I can image.” Could he? Could Carter image what I’d been through? What I’ve done in my life? Could anyone image?

I shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t think anyone could even possibly image what I’d been through.

“How did you grow up?” He asked.

I thought back to the days when I was just an innocent teenager in Florida, always hanging with my friends or going on dates or just dancing to my music. Mom had been a business woman for a big company that did Lord knows what. I never understood Mom’s explanations. Dad on the other hand had been realtor.  I had a sister too. We were only a year apart in age and seemed inseparable back then. We were a happy family.

“I grew...u-p,” hurt came back into my voice. Not just hurt from over use of my voice, but hurt from my memories. I urged to see my family again. To laugh with my sister, to talk about the news with my dad, and to shop with my mom. A lump started to rise in my throat and my eyes stung.

“I gre-” my voice cracked. Before I knew it, I was in tears. I was overwhelmed.

I had been silent for so long. I had pushed any and all emotion aside, forgotten the meaning of love and friendship. I had even forgotten my own name! I was a victim. I had been so strong when I was younger, but now, what was I? A bloody toy to be played with, something nobody cared about. And I missed my life. Talking to Carter brought back so many things. It brought back life, joy, love. I nearly felt whole again after being ripped apart so many times for so long. I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I cried and cried.

I curled myself into a ball and wept. I missed being free.

While tears left tracks on my cheeks, Carter moved towards me, his arms extended. I flinched away.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Addie.” Part of me screamed to keep him away. I was in too much pain to take anymore. But I just shattered.

I closed the small distance between us and crashed into Carter. I hurt so badly, I couldn’t even think of how to tell Carter. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. For the first time since I was taken by the fishermen, I broke.

“I’m sorry Addie, I’m really sorry.” I could feel Carter’s voice rumble through his chest as I leaned closer into him.

“See, I didn’t grow up so well. Mom was a signal parent and we were never the richest family. My dad left us when I was just a babe and took most of our money with him. Anyway, I went to a low classed school, you know, for the poor kids. One day we got a special treat, we went to the beach as a class trip when I was about ten or so. Now a days it sounds so weird, a class trip to the beach! Image that.

“We got to surf at the beach when we were there. Most of us had never surfed before but wanted to. We all grabbed a board and hit the waves at high tide. We were idiots back then.

“Everybody nearly drowned that day. Expect me. I stayed on the waves. Thinking back I don’t know how I did it, but I did. When I got onto that board, I felt free; I felt the pressures of my life were gone. I didn’t have to worry if I would have supper on the table that night, I didn’t have to worry if we were going to be evicted from our apartment. I could just be me. I found my passion that day. And every day after that I went to the beach to surf, I taught myself.”

Carter’s story struck me and I looked up at him from wet tearstained eyes.

“Why are you tell-ing me this?” I asked, my voice rougher than usual from my crying.

“I thought it would take you mind off what you were crying about.” I didn’t respond. I just snuggled closer to Carter. He knew exactly what I needed. It was so strange. I had never known someone who could do that. My fears of him hurting me had disappeared, never to return.

I shook a shallow breath. I had no tears left to cry. I just felt empty inside. I knew I would never see my family again, nor could I fix anything that had happened. But I was here, with Carter. This was right now. And I was going to live it until I died.

No one would save me. I was just another victim.