Sealed and Silenced (Watty Awards 2012)

Sealed and Silenced: Chapter 20

Sometime during the night, a man called down the stairwell for Mia. She told him to fuck off.

The three of us have been sitting against a wall quietly holding each other for a very long time. Others have brought us some of the limited water and small amount of food. But most of the time, we just sit in each other’s company, occasionally talking about little things. A fly, how good the water feels, who’s awake and who isn’t.

We don’t dare broach the topic of the future in any detail. It’s too scary to think about, with endless possibilities all ending in despair and sadness.

I’m trying to get over Carter while we wait down in the cellar for our slow and ever approaching deaths. I know I should and I want to get over him. Too move on and help find a way out of this place. But I just can’t.

I can’t get over the lump that rises in my throat every time I think of Carter and what happened upstairs. It feels like just a few minutes ago when he denied any and all feeling towards me, but I know it wasn’t. I’ve seemed to have lost track of time and space in the gentle darkness.

“Hey, Adalyn?” Mia shakes me back into the present.

“Yea?” I answer my voice gravely from crying.

“Why did you stop talking? I think I know, but…” she trails off. I hesitate before answering, listening to the gentle snoring Natalie who is resting beside us.

“I stopped talking because, whenever I talked to the men on the boat, I’d beg them to let me go. I’d plead with them to either kill me or let me go. They hated my constant pleas and nattering. One of the men, he’d –” I swallow hard, remembering the pain. “He’d throw me against a wall and beat me black and blue. Then have his way with me. Soon all the men did it. Found it fun.

“If I didn’t talk, I didn’t get beaten as regularly. And once I stopped talking, I forgot how. My throat closed. The only time I ever used it was for screaming. They always loved that.” I spit my last sentence, disgusted.

Mia makes a noise of shock.

“Oh, Ad, I’m so sorry. I can see why you didn’t talk when you got here.”

“Well, I certainly broke my silen-” I freeze mid sentence at the sound of a door opening then closing. It’s the faintest sound, but I hear it.

“What?” Mia hisses noticing my quite. I hold a finger to her lips.

Tender footsteps fall upon the stairs and lights go out at once. It seems like only one man is on the stairs, probably that skinny bloke back to collect Mia.

The entire basement waits in deadly silence. We all count the steps the man takes, knowing by heart the number of stairs. He reaches the bottom. The man pauses.

“Adalyn?” His voice rings out in the damp basement. I know that voice. I long for that voice, yet I hate that voice.

I start to stand. His outline stands at the bottom of the stairs. I’m to his right. I itch to see him. I want him to hold me and tell me everything was a lie. I want to make him pay for what he said.

My hand drops Mia’s. She gasps again in shock, realizing who has come to visit our dark abyss.

“Adalyn, no.” I hear the urgency in her voice, yet I ignore it. Emotions run wildly through my veins equal to my blood. I urn to touch his well toned body. But I also owe him a slap.  My mind is confused, but my body isn’t. It leads its way quite as night, till I’m standing in front of Carter. He doesn’t see me. His eyes haven’t adjusted to the darkness yet.

“Adalyn?” He calls again. I need to say something, anything. My throat gathers its usual lump and my eyes sting with painful tears.

“Why?” I make out, hoarse and distant. My mind seems to have left my body. I shouldn’t have spoken. I shouldn’t have even gotten up.

I see Carter’s head turn to face the direction my voice came from. I panic, heart quickening, palms sweating, head spinning.

“Addie? You there?”

“Don’t call me that.” Carter reaches out a blind hand, reaching for me, but I take a step back, out of his eager reach.

“Adalyn, you don’t understand.” He says and drops his searching hand. Carter can sense my anger, the fear, and the heartache.

“Just tell me why, Carter. Why did you lie to me? Why would you do this to me? Why play me like that?” I barely make out the words. I hear ruffling around the room. Everyone is awake and watching us. I feel the heat of their eyes on my body.

“Addie, I did it because I love you. Imagine what Billy would have done to you if he knew I loved you. Just imagine.”

“You don’t love me.”

“I do, of course I do, Addie. I love you so much it hurts. I thought you would understand. I thought you would know what I was doing up there.”

“Well, I guess you thought wrong.” Even in the darkness I see Carter’s face fall. I pause, thinking over my next words with caution.

“You try imagining what it was like hearing you say no to Billy. Of all people! The very man who sells me for money each night. Then saying you want to work with him!” I scoff. Several gasps can be heard around the room. It’s clear we have a large, attentive, audience.

“You could have given me some sign that you were lying, you know. It would have been easy. A wink, a smile, something.” I finish my spiel, crossing my arms over my chest.

“But, Ad, look what I’ve gotten from throwing Billy off of our path. He let me upstairs. He showed me around. I know how to get out now. And –” He pauses, unsure of whether or not to continue. “I came down here to take you away from here, to take you out to the real world, a world where happiness is common and misery is barely known.”

“I DON’T CARE, CARTER!” I raise my voice. “Don’t you get it? You broke my already fragile heart. You said you didn’t love me, and sided with my worst enemy. You betrayed me.” My eyes glisten, threatening to spill over.

“I DIDN’T!” His voice rises to match mine. “Side with Billy, okay? All I did was gain an advantage over that sick bastard. Addie, I hate him just as much as you do.” I huff, unable to accept his words.

“I did all that because I love you.”

“I don’t believe you.” I hiss the sentence, staring at the ceiling above Carter, determined not to cry.

Then his hot lips are on mine crushing them with passion. Carter’s body is pressed urgently against mine, squeezing me against him. One of his hands cups my neck while the other finds my hair.

The kiss hard at first, angry, then turns soft and gentle. His lips move with mine as if they were two puzzle pieces made for each other.

What I really can’t believe, is that I kiss him back. I’m so easily swayed. Just a kiss and I’m putty in Carter’s hands. I feel myself melt against his body.

He pulls away just enough to look me in the eye.

“Now would I do that, if I didn’t love you?” He asks, his breathe fanning my face. It smells like mint.

“Not necessarily,” I huff, breathless.

“Adalyn, what I did upstairs yesterday, all that was just an act. I did it to try and earn a way upstairs so we can get out of here. I denied my love, because I love you just that much. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. You know I never meant to hurt you, right?”

My heart gives a shudder, while my stomach fills with butterflies.

“I guess,” I mumble.

“Do you believe me now?” Carter’s tone tells me the truth. His eyes flicker with shine.

As he cups my face gently with both hands warming my body, I know what I believe. My gut seems to know what to say.

“Yes.” With the word, I let out a large breath that I didn’t know I had been holding in. “I don’t know why I believe you. I really shouldn’t, after what you said or didn’t say. But it seems to make sense. And I just can’t let you go. I love you too much.” He lets out a sigh of relief and pulls me back in for another deep and passionate kiss.