Sealed and Silenced (Watty Awards 2012)

Sealed and Silenced: Chapter 17

My strength doesn’t last long. As soon as Billy tells me what he wants me to do with Derek, my knees start to wobble with dread. When he opens the door to let those sick bastards in, the shaking starts to spread throughout the rest of my body.

The sight of my rapist doesn’t help. He’s a gay looking fellow. With stylist brown hair that hangs to one side and an earring. His designer suit is a deep blue that reminds me of water in a storm. His voice drips with scorn. He wiggles his tiny hips as he walks towards me.

I attempt to curl my lip but Billy gives me a disapproving look and I change my disgust to over the top sweet.

“Fifth room to the left,” Billy instructs and I take Derek by the sleeve, leading him up the stairs.

“Don’t wrinkle the suit, it’s an Armano.” I roll my eyes as we approach the top. Already, my feet are killing themselves in the heels Mia put me in.

“Okay, just let go. You are going to wrinkle my damn suit, you filth.” I let go of Derek’s sleeve with pleasure. He proceeds to try and straighten the damp finger prints I made in his expensive suit.

My blood boils as I lead him into the room. It’s dark and unfamiliar. No windows, no candles, no lamps, nothing. A cold and repugnant bed stands in front of us.

Derek closes the door behind him and sits on the bed, spreading his legs wide.

“Sooo?” He drags out the word. “Let’s see you do your best stuff. I hear, you enjoy being an expert in these matters.” He inspects his clean cut fingernails as he reiterates the lie that Billy must have told him.

 I move towards Derek slowly, like a frightened animal. The security of the wall I had been standing against leaves me, as I near the rapist, unsure of what exactly he wants.

Hysteria blossoms with each small step closer. My breath escapes me with each footfall and a silent argument begins in my head.

I have to do this, I tell myself. Who knows what Billy will do to you if you don’t!

But I don’t want to, damnit. I don’t know.... I don’t want....

My heart is quickening, the dress Mia lent me, is becoming even more snug around my lungs, and the room seems to be closing in around me. I can’t seem to take the few final steps to met Derek and his spread open legs. He seems too far away now. As if I’m looking at him through a tunnel.

I feel faint. I gulp, my saliva full of dread. Fog seems to be clouding my vision now; I can’t see anything around me. Everything has a shinning blur. I feel that my palms are damp as I rub my fingers against them. Delicate beads of sweat start to run down my face. My heart thumps in my chest, so loud; I’m frightened Derek will take notice.

I try and take deep, calming breaths, trying to bring down my heart rate. But my body doesn’t want to calm down. Adrenaline starts to pump through my veins, desperate to spread throughout my circulatory system. I shake start to shake my head reluctantly. I don’t know what possesses me to do this, but my vision starts to clear as I defy and my breathing comes easier.

“No,” I croak, easily sounding like a dying frog.

“What?” his voice is sharp, like a thousand stingers. Derek doesn’t expect this. He thinks I’m a regular whore who loves what she does.  

“I can’t do this. I don’t enjoy it. I hate it. I’ve been raped to many times. I hurt and I ache, and all I want is to go back to Carter.” Words spill out my mouth before I can hold them back.

“Who’s this Carter? Another client, perhaps? Won’t Billy be interested to hear that you fell for a client of all people.” He gives a short high pitched laugh that sends cold shivers down my spine.

“Carter is a magnificent man. More of a man than you will ever be.” My voice grows stronger as courage throws these words out of my mouth. I feel fearless. I will not be taken advantage of again. Not tonight, not ever.

“He cares for me and loves me. He told me so. And I think I love him back. He’s the only man who’s ever seemed to have any consideration as to who I am.” My rushing words aches my throat, but the volume of my voice continues to grow.

“I don’t want to please you; I don’t want to please anybody. All I want is to be free, damnit. I want to live a normal life with Carter and that is it. End of fucking story. Now get the hell out of this room!” I stamp my foot and point to the door. I exhale heavily through my nose.

“Vveery weelll,” again Derek drags out his words. He closes his trousered legs and moves off the bed. I think he mumbles something, but I can’t make out what it is, my heart is beating too loudly in my ears.

The slam of the door makes me jump, but I stay where I am for a few moments. Then I move to the darkest and friendliest corner.

I don’t consider what I have done. I just sit there. I can’t go anywhere anyways. Mia will be looking after the girls, and my passage to downstairs would be blocked my both men and women. So I stay where I am. Slightly shaking as my heart rate comes down and my hysteria starts to die down.

I don’t know what is to come. I don’t know anything. All I do is sit there with my mind on one thing. The one person I want to be with most. His loving face flutters in my mind.

My breathing slows to a regular pace along with my heart and my head nods against the wall. All danger is gone for now. And whatever happens, will happen. For now I feel safe and sound.

| A/n: I hope you guys liked this!!!!!!!!!! I had a ton of fun writing it. You also may have noticed that the last three words are also the title of a Taylor Swift song. I am indeed a huge fan and this just seemed to fit perfectly! Don't forget to vote, comment, and fan, and may striped giraffes pay you a visit in your dreams and thank you! |