alleviate | banglo

prologue | yongguk

I rolled the stem between the pads on my fingertips. My eyes were locked onto its unmistakable beauty. A single thorn had gone forgotten and without warning crimson blood slowly trickled down my index finger. The substance seeped into the object's surface, tainting its pure elegance. Without hesitation I dropped the rose back into the vase that sat upon the bedside table. The bouquet I had purchased earlier gleamed within the sun's brightest rays. While my eyes were fixated on this work of nature, I pondered how the item was like life itself.

"How could something of such beauty inflict so much pain," I thought to myself.

I glanced down at the fresh cut and ran my thumb along the wound. The corners of my lips slowly turned upwards and into a slight smirk. It's as if life was mocking me. My focus then turned to my mother, who lay upon her hospital bed. All traces of happiness were long gone from my aura. My mouth hung in a frown as I plopped down into the chair next to my mother. I took hold of her hand and gently caressed it. I never wanted to forget her facial features, so I preceded to study them. They were of exquisite beauty, however, stress had caused creases and wrinkles to form upon the surface.

"Why do terribly awful things happen to incredible people."

All of the sudden, I became furious and filled with agony. I clenched my fists and my eyes swelled with tears. Out of all the people in the world, why my mother? Just as I was about to lose myself, my brother tightly gripped onto my shoulder.

Yongnam attempted to supply me with some sort comfort that he unfortunately couldn't give. He softly spoke, "Yongguk, you should head home. You've nearly been here for twenty-four hours straight. You haven't gotten a wink of sleep and you look awful."

I brushed his hand away and gradually stood on my feet. Yongnam watched me with a worried look as I quietly headed for the door. I didn't want to fight with him, not today.

"There's dinner in the fridge waiting for you when you get home. It's your favorite." He quickly stated, sending me a smile like he was trying to cheer me up or something.

I closed the door behind me and left my family in the confines of that room. I dragged my feet through the hospital and headed towards the exit. I rubbed my eyes against the sleeve of my sweater. I most definitely looked like shit and yet I didn't seem to care. I made my way through the small groups of people, swiftly striding past a mother pushing her son in a wheelchair. At that moment I completely lost all self control. I choked on my tears and sprinted for the exit. I desperately wanted my mother to be there for me, like that mother who was there for her son. Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I hurried out the hospital doors and towards home.

I wasn't ready to let her go.