Tragic starts. New beginnings

Chapter 10

Hours later my mom, Cami and I were sitting on the couch watching a rerun of Bernie Mack. "This show never gets old. " my mom commented. There was a loud knock at the door, I got up to go get it. Guess who it was ? A overly excited Jordan jumping up and down. She looked as though she was going to brush with excitement. " guess what ?!" She said as she had a tight grip on my forearm.
"What Jordan ? " I said trying not to show I was in a little bit of pain she was tiny but packed a lot of muscle. " senior year starts next week and that means a whole new wardrobe."
" you blew up my phone to tell me something I already knew?" I said kinda annoyed. " that's not all, we get to finally get apply to colleges" she said eagerly. Jordan's idea of excitement has really derailed over the years. " aren't you excited ? " I flashed a cheesy smile and went to go sit back down. Now that I think about it summer vacation didn't seem that long. I guess it's because all of the things that happened. I still haven't heard from my cousin, I know he said a few days but that's family and I get worried about family. I quickly break out of my thoughts when i over hear my mom and Jordan talk about colleges. I never really been good at school things but I manage to get through it.
--Later that evening--
We went shopping for a wardrobe, I ended up carrying everyone's bags. I felt like a pack mule. "Kayla? Is that you ?" I heard an unfamiliar voice call my name. I turned around and it was someone I didn't really feel like being around. Darren Gardner. He was the definition on aggravation and clingy. He was always obsessed with what he can't have. And unfortunately I was something he couldn't have. " hey Kayla, how you been girl ?"
" I'm doing well but I have to go" I said as I was turning away. " wait before you go, I know I have been annoying in the past and kind of a hoe but I've changed give me a chance" he said with the most sorriest pouty lip ever. Before I could answer my mom called me to leave, so I walked away. As I got in the car I thought about what he said but then it quickly left my mind when Cami moved closer to me. She just made me feel like nothing mattered.
--that night--
I laid in bed thinking about everything that happened the pass few weeks and I really been through hell and back. I'm not exactly proud of what happened. I could hear my brother saying "is this what you really wanted ?" I know it wasn't the right way to go about it but I did it to get some type of closure but why didn't I feel like I've got it. Cami came into the room and interrupted my thoughts. She looked beautiful, and I really enjoyed being around her. But something just kept me at a distance with her. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, trust me I will find out though. She climbed into bed and moved closer to me and I moved over a little. " are you okay, did I do something?"  She said in a baby voice. I didn't speak a word I just turned over and went to sleep.
--the next morning--
I woke and rolled over. I didn't feel like getting out of bed today. I just wanted to relax for once in my life. I picked up my phone to check the time, I wanted to spend time with my best friend like we use to. I called up Jordan and told her to bring snacks. Once she got there,she let herself in only because shes had a key since the 1st grade. She's the only one I trust completely she never flipped on me. Jordan came up the stairs and sat on my bed . " hey fat ass hoe how ya feeling?" She said laughing . " I'm good, but we need to have a vent section " I laughed then went to a serious tone. I really need to talk to her on a serious note because there's something I need to get off my chest about Cami. " Jordan, I think I'm falling for Cami more than I ever fallen for anyone. "
" aww that's sweet Kayla has a soft side. What's the problem?" She asked in a sincere tone seeing that I had a serious expression on my face. " I mean like I said before she's great but I don't think I can trust her, well I can but I'm having a hard time trusting her."
" have you tried to talking to her,"
I looked down at my feet trying to come up with the right words to say. " i can't it's just something about her that's not really sitting right me anymore ya know?" She nodded and I continued to talk "i just need to know, what to do" I buried my head in my hands, I really didn't have a clue what was right or wrong. " Jordan moved closer and put her arm around me " I can't tell you what to do. This may sound corny but you need to follow your heart and not your head." I lifted my head up. I knew she was right but right now heart was out of commission, I felt like it was beaten ever since my brother died. After our talk we sat back on my bed and binge watched The Fosters, moments later I looked over at Jordan and she was knocked out cold. I turned off the television and roll over then tried to go to sleep.